This clown will sing and dance for you for just a quarter! That's some old-school entertainment.
Mikko was so taken with the juke box (I helped him choose the Beatles' "Birthday" since it's one of his favorites) that he wants to build his own. He was fascinated when I told him I actually have a record player stashed away somewhere. No records, but a genuine player.
Thirty eight is solidly in the middle of my life. Thirty eight is realizing that there are likely as many years behind me as there are ahead. It is acknowledging that life is no longer a green field, that certain doors are closed, that some choices are irrevocable, and that many of the big what-ifs that haunted my childhood have been answered. Thirty eight is also realizing that despite these answers, there are far, far more new questions.
If you are not yet 38, come back to this. Or write your own. If you are past, let me know what’s to come. Or maybe let it be a surprise. I’m still coming to terms with this part of my life.
I love the attachment parenting principle of responding with sensitivity, because I think that in itself can sum up attached parenting: witnessing your child's needs and meeting them with love.
One thing that's become important to me is realizing that there's no magic formula for responding with sensitivity: Our children's needs are different from another child's, and the needs change as they grow. It's a very in-the-moment process of checking back with your child and yourself to see if you're in tune right now.
When Mikko was born, Sam and I learned quickly that we needed to respond quickly, and often! As a high-needs baby, Mikko needed a lot of help regulating and soothing himself: babywearing, bouncing, walking, white noise, massage, lullabies, and lots and lots of time breastfeeding. We figured out we could put him down for small periods — but only if we kept up the motion: in a bouncy seat with our foot doing the jiggling, or in a baby hammock that rocked him to sleep.
…
When Alrik was born, we discovered a truth we'd guessed: that every baby is different. He's been much more easy-going and independent, confident to forge his own trail even in unfamiliar places. But, still, he knows he can circle back to his home base and that he'll receive the reassurance and reconnection he needs.
Want to read more? Sure thing!
Every month the joint newsletter from Hobo Mama, Code Name: Mama, and Natural Parents Network wings its way to inboxes all around the world, bringing compelling content like the article I wrote for the July newsletter on Responding With Sensitivity.
So subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter: original articles, linked resources around the month's theme, newsletter-exclusive giveaways and deals, fun polls, and more — all delivered right to your inbox!
Subscribe now to get the July 1 issue
with the article above on the rhythm of responsiveness!
I posted the link on my Facebook page and got some interesting reactions, from people who've been makeup-free for years to one commenter in particular who said she's "tired of being told every single thing in my life is something else I should feel guilty about. It's exhausting."
That prompted me to go ahead and write this post that's been simmering in my mind for awhile now: a defense of makeup from a crunchy feminist.
Every so often I'll see a blogger who makes a big deal about trying out not wearing makeup for a week or whatever, and I want to give them a slow sarcasti-clap. Because nearly universally these are gorgeous, young, clear-skinned people for whom makeup is just an added flourish, like a piece of ornate crown molding on an architecturally charming house. "Oh, you're 25 with skin as smooth as porcelain, and you skipped mascara for a few days? How brave you are!" (I'm kinda snarky in real life.)
Connecting Quintillian’s ancient thoughts on obedience with modern childrearing.
It’s pretty clear that the belief that unruly children need to be disciplined into submission is still alive and kicking in contemporary parenting philosophies.
As a former sufferer of piano lessons (heh heh), I’ve often wondered how we might unschool music. This unschooled, musical adult has many interesting thoughts on just that (with some helpful links on language learning besides).
Theme: Learning About Diversity: Diversity surrounds us — our family make-ups are unique, our abilities and goals differ from our friends, we have different standards of living and sets of beliefs … both across our communities and around the world. How do you teach your children to embrace and respect diversity?
Deadline: Tuesday, July 2. Fill out the webform (at the link or at the bottom) and email your submission to us by 11:59 p.m. Pacific time: CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com
Carnival date:Tuesday, July 9. Before you post, we will send you an email with a little blurb in html to paste into your submission that will introduce the carnival. You will publish your post on July 9 and email us the link if you haven't done so already. Once everyone's posts are published on July 9 by noon Eastern time, we will send out a finalized list of all the participants' links to generate lots of link love for your site! We'll include full instructions in the email we send before the posting date.
I wrote this when I was pregnant with Alrik two-plus years ago and never hit "publish," I guess afraid my pickiness about clothing would come across wrong. I'm feeling willing to take the chance now that it will just spark some interesting discussions.
This post contains affiliate links.
I've been sorting through boxes of Mikko's baby things, trying to find (a) newborn clothes and diaper covers and (b) homebirth supplies. I've been piling things by size, and Mikko has been trying to help me, which has been not as helpful as he intends. "No! Not in that pile, Mama. Here, I do it right."
I'm astonished at how many of his baby clothes I don't like.
Unsnapped one-pieces made for good
boxing robes for our bruiser.
For one thing, his sex was a surprise, prompting everyone to load us up with pastel yellows and greens. Then, once he was born, it was all light blue, all the time.
Don't get me wrong — those are all lovely colors, in moderation. But I lean toward vibrant clothes for kids, and the pastels just look insipid to me.
And beyond the colors are the cuts. We got a lot of onesies and other one-pieces. I know people think onesies are the awesomest thing ever — except that we don't. I was doing elimination communication AND cloth diapering a baby who peed every five minutes (no exaggeration). PLUS, we had a huge baby who was wearing diapers that were on the bulky side — we could barely ever get the snaps closed in the first place, much less keep them that way. I intuited that we would need separates; I put several examples of kimono-style t-shirts and elastic-waist pants on our baby registry and pleaded in the comments that these would be "so convenient!" No one took the hint.
Did you know laptops don't like it when you spill soda on them? Alrik tested that proposition for me last night. After some drying time, I'm back with a late WW…
Mikko, his triceratops, and I all looked up the next Captain Underpants books at the library computers.
Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the best blogposts I've read throughout the week.
We had an impromptu adventure: hopping the bus and light rail to explore
the airport. (Well, the parts you can get to without a ticket!) I love
public transportation excursions — perfect for kids, cheap for me!
We know it’s true that they grow up too fast. But feeling like I have to enjoy every moment doesn’t feel like a gift, it feels like one more thing that is impossible to do, and right now, that list is way too long. Not every moment is enjoyable as a parent; it wasn’t for you, and it isn’t for me. You just have obviously forgotten. I can forgive you for that. But if you tell me to enjoy every moment one more time, I will need to break up with you.
I am a mystery buff. I read detective novels — heck, I write them! I relish whodunnit movies and miniseries. I follow along with stories of true crimes past and present. And I watch a lot of crime dramas on TV.
I like to think I'm pretty much a full-fledged detective myself … of the armchair variety.
I might never have analyzed a peculiar residue left at a crime scene or immediately identified the cause of death of badly decomposed remains or tricked a suspect into confessing on tape. But I like to think I could — if I ever stood up and went outdoors. Yep, I'm an indoor gumshoe, and proud of it! I can totally solve anything … that's on TV.
Which is why I was so happy to receive an advance copy of the first episode of the second season of Perception, a crime drama on TNT. TNT is known as the Home of Crime Drama, and indeed, many of my favorite detective-in-training shows are right there on that channel!
I had never seen Perception, though, so I was eager to give it a viewing.
Welcome to the Festival of Food Carnival. This month, we celebrate Smoothies and Mocktails! Hosted by Diary of a First Child and Hybrid Rasta Mama, you're welcome to join us next time, or if you have a previously published recipe you'd like to share, add it to the linky below.
This is one in a series of guest posts by other bloggers. Read to the end for a longer biographical note on today's guest blogger, my partner and husband, Crackerdog Sam. From his mighty kitchen arsenal, today Sam offers a dairy-free, sweetener-free summer smoothie containing only four natural ingredients that's sure to refresh both kids and adults.
Guest post by Crackerdog Sam
We were first introduced to watermelon agua fresca (which is simply watermelon liquified in a blender) at a local Mexican restaurant several years ago and fell in love with the simplicity and taste. I, of course, had to experiment with different variations, and I really like this one: The addition of the mango gives it a smoothie consistency.
Ingredients:
3 cups watermelon cubes (1/4 of a personal watermelon)
1/3 cup mango cubes (about 1/2 a mango)
1/2 Tbsp fresh cilantro leaves
6 ice cubes
Dietary/allergy notes:
Vegan, vegetarian, dairy-free, gluten-free, grain-free, egg-free, nut-free, sweetener-free. Well, look at it: It's just fruits and herbs!
Welcome to the June 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting in Theory vs. in Reality
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants are sharing how their ideas and methods of parenting have changed.
Here's the danger of blogging: You find yourself doing something that you know you wrote against at some point before…
As Mikko's gotten older — he just turned six — I've found my laissez-faire attitude about his (lack of) manners shifting into appointing myself instead his own private Courtesy Cop. And I had this nagging suspicion — more than a suspicion — that at some point I had written a blog post all about how I don't coach my kids to say "please" and "thank you," that I just model it. Yet here I have been, whispering to him, or saying outright, "Remember to say 'thank you'!" or "That's not a very nice way to ask; what would be a better way?"
I didn't really want to write about this subject for the carnival, because — well, gee, how embarrassing! But let's delve in, shall we?
We've gotten several compliments lately about how pleasant and agreeable our three-year-old is. He politely thanks people for giving him things. He always wants to help with whatever we're doing (whether it's helpful or not!). He gives affection freely and spontaneously, leaning over with an unexpected hug and "I love you, too, too, fweetie Mama" since I responded to his earlier "I love you"s with "I love you, too, sweetie." (The cute makes your teeth ache, doesn't it?)
…
We try not to (sometimes I slip up!) tell Mikko what to say to be socially acceptable. I never appreciated as a kid having something withheld until I remembered to "use the magic word" or being prompted with a whispered "Tell Grandma you love her!" It felt false to me, like a breach of manners rather than true sociability.
My theory — and it's not just my theory — is that humans are innately social creatures. They want to fit into their social group (their tribe). To specify this with children, children are always looking for ways they can cooperate within the social structure and model the behavior they see in older children and adults. This doesn't mean that every action they make is in line with what we want from them at all times. For one thing, we often don't want our babies acting like adults (trying to operate the lighter or turn on the stove). For another thing, they often miscalculate what is expected of them (not picking up on social cues and signals) or their own abilities to follow through (like being able to pour from a heavy pitcher). What it does mean is that, overall, barring anything that keeps them from taking part in the social group, children will act like little social scientists in finding their proper behavior within the group. They will observe what their elders are doing and try things out for themselves. They will self-correct if something they try goes badly. Of course, all of this takes time and repetition and is limited by their current developmental abilities, so they don't get it correct right away or every time. (And sometimes they simply choose their own unique paths!)
When it comes to manners, I don't teach Mikko how to be polite. I model it. (I hope!) I say "please" and "thank you," "excuse me" and "I'm sorry," to him, and to others in his presence. Despite not being "taught" manners, he has them, and he knows how to use them!
Sales through the links in this post go to support the work of my website and toward the incredible contributors to this bundle! Thank you so much.
The Mindful Parenting eBundle Sale ends TODAY! I can hardly believe we're at the end of this whirlwind two weeks, but that's what my calendar tells me. This is your LAST CHANCE to get these 22 quality parenting e-products in one place! Time to stop dithering and hop on over to get your copy of this bundle before it's gone!
The bundle costs only $24.95 — let's break down some math here. My book is already worth $9.99. Some other resources are worth more than the bundle as a whole (!), but let's say they're worth about $10 on average. If you were interested in buying even three of the resources this year, you'd come out far, far ahead by buying the bundle now instead. You don't necessarily need to read all 22 (amazing) titles, but there's no downside in having them available to you!
It's like populating your mindful parenting library in one go. And you guys know me — you know I've vetted all these resources. I wouldn't be recommending them if I weren't serious about how life-changing they can be!
Want even more incentive?
I've been working on developing some new Activity Cards and am pleased to offer a sampler pack of twenty for anyone who buys the bundle through my affiliate link. These fun and educational flashcards will help you entertain your kidlets during any tedious situations. If you email me your receipt, I'll email you the PDF (for printing) and jpg (for mobile) versions of 20 cards. Yea!
Meanwhile, you'll be enjoying your bundle, hand-designed for the thoughtful parent: e-books, workshops, e-magazines, and audio with themes such as creativity and play, peaceful guidance, mindfulness for mothers, children and food, self-care and relaxation, and more.
Attachment Parenting isn’t new. In many ways, it is a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last sixty years, the behaviors of attachment have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for areas that are key to the optimal development of children, summarized in API’s Eight Principles of Parenting. Enjoy the exchange among the world’s leading experts in attachment parenting discussing API’s 8 Principles of Parenting, listen to their responses to questions of our time, and hear their answers to questions from the audience.
Relaxation Meditation helps you access inner awareness and resolve, cultivating the space for true, lasting transformation. Relax into parenting as you enhance your relationship with yourself, your child, and life at the same time.
Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the best blogposts I've read throughout the week.
Mikko and I went downtown to attend the Science Expo and Mini Makers Faire (for mini-inventors) yesterday. It rocked. Since we're unschooling but inventions and science are not my bailiwick, I love that there are resources like this out there that can satisfy him.
This is his typical non-smile for photos, but he was super proud of the light-up pin
he's sporting that he soldered himself. I was proud, too! I've never soldered a thing.
And what do you think all that science-learning did for him?
My little scientist is also a conservationist. He volunteered to clean up
all the trash around the bus stop because it would be "good for the environment."
I hear about {affiliate link} this book from *everyone*, and I keep wanting/hoping we might implement these strategies. But also not wanting to disrupt my own bad habits. Hmm.
But, seriously y’all, I was skeptical at first about whether the tricks in this book would work for us. I have employed some aspects of attachment parenting, and one of them that I associate with the trend is to offer children choices and let them articulate their preferences and control aspects of their food world. If I had to pick one thing I’ve learned in the last week, it’s that the science does not agree; in fact, it suggests children aren’t capable of deciding what they should eat, and these decisions actually stress them out.
I'm Lauren Wayne, writer and natural parent. I embrace attached parenting with an emphasis toward green living.
Riding the rails with my husband, Crackerdog Sam, and our hobo kids, Mikko Lint Picker (born June 2007), Alrik Irontrousers (born May 2011), and Karsten (born October 2014). Trying every day to parent intentionally and with grace.
Here's the danger of blogging: You find yourself doing something that you know you wrote against at some point before…
Relaxation Meditation (audio) — Amy Phoenix — lifetime access!!
I'm Lauren Wayne, writer and natural parent. I embrace attached parenting with an emphasis toward green living. 
