Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Having babies broke my body

Hobo Mama wants you to know she's a professional blogger! Look at how professional she's being!

It was during my last period, cursing my menstrual cup's repeated and messy failures, that the sobering thought finally hit me: This might not get better. After having my third baby, my body is broken.

I don't know how much is age, or how much is particular to my body's foibles, and I don't know what I hope to accomplish by cataloging this except to offer sympathy to anyone else going through this realization.

But here are the ways my body seems to have reacted to repeated pregnancies and births:

The peeing.

That pre-baby body has gone the
way of the woolly mammoth.
Oh, the peeing. My kids think it's hilariously exasperating that I must use the restroom every half-hour. I know where every public toilet is on our usual routes, and I cannot afford to be choosy about conditions of some of the sketchier ones, as well as the hellish stretches where there is not one. I have been known to duck into an unoccupied construction zone's porta-potty. I'm not proud, but it's better than wetting myself.

Speaking of which, I have spent too much time fantasizing about ordering pee undies. They are so much moolah, though. Why so very much? Would a cloth menstrual pad be as good? Can I make my own pee-wear from old cloth diapers?

And I've had to cut way back on caffeine, or woe betide me. Again, just ask my kids about my comical dance to get the keys in the front door, race up the stairs, and make it into the bathroom before I need to throw my pants in the wash. I often lose the race.

Menstrual cup confusion.

This might or might not be related as it's a down-there situation, but what the actual heck is going on with my cervix and adjacent ladybits now? Almost every month is a game of Will My Menstrual Cup Catch Any Blood? The answer is usually, No, no, it won't. The blood will go around, adhere to the side, or do other fun things. WHERE ARE MY PARTS NOW? Did the babies MOVE them?

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

DitDoo's World is amazeballs

Hobo Mama wants you to know she's a professional blogger! Look at how professional she's being!

Alrik has decided that it's time he broke into the glamorous world of YouTubing. He has done so with aplomb, with the release of his own channel, DitDoo's World.

DitDoo is what his baby brother inexplicably started calling him when he learned to talk, and we stuck with it. Karsten has strong opinions about things like what your favorite color is or how to pronounce your name, and we've found there's no point in arguing with him.

Anyway, DitDoo's World has everything fabulous a 6-year-old can offer, to wit:

Journal entries featuring illustrations of adorable dreams

Inventions like the wearable phone glove and paper-tube robot arms,
which the world will be clamoring for as soon as these vids goes viral

DitDoo the author's own books,
self-illustrated and self-published with love

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Taste test of 28 British crisps, chocolates, biscuits, & more!

Hobo Mama wants you to know she's a professional blogger! Look at how professional she's being!

And now for something completely different…

Our U.S. kids taste tested a treasure trove of U.K. delights that Sam had bought himself for Christmas.

Sam made a playoff competition for each kid and each type of snacky goodness, culminating in the champions of nonsensical yumminess.

Enjoy the enthusiastic tummy-rubbing, the slow-mo yuck faces, and all the thumbs up, down, and sideways!

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Kids sad Christmas is over? Keep unwrapping "gifts"!

Hobo Mama wants you to know she's a professional blogger! Look at how professional she's being!

Does anyone else have a 3-year-old who continues to pine for more gifts to unwrap?

One who looks longingly into the corner where the Christmas tree stood and says, offhandedly, "Any more presents?"

A child who peers into backpacks and bags hopefully, thinking maybe a bonus gift was forgotten inside?

Here's what's helped us stem the disappointment of humdrum, non-present-opening life between Christmas and his birthday:

Giving each other pretend gifts wrapped in pretend paper.