If you've been staring at bare paper-products aisles in distress, I have some suggestions to brighten your day. You can cut down or cut out your use of toilet paper while maintaining your comfort and convenience.
I recommend a mix of family cloth, a bidet attachment, and, optionally, a much smaller quantity of toilet paper or wet wipes as needed, such as for guests -- in the future, when guests are a thing again. You might remember I first tried family cloth, or reusable cloth toilet paper, several years ago after a lot of debate and skepticism. I'm glad to report I've kept using it, but I admit I didn't get my family fully on board until this coronavirus epidemic! Necessity is the mother of getting your kids to use less toilet paper, apparently. Happily, this transition is going very well. I think we can stick with it, so I'll share my updated thoughts on managing family cloth for a whole family.
Have you heard of the oil cleansing method, where you wash your face with … yup … oil? If you have acne or oily skin, you've probably shied away, assuming that adding oil wouldn't help at best and, at worst, would make you erupt into Mount Pimple.
But I have persistent adult acne, and I've been using oil cleansing for my face successfully for the past two years at least. It's a great way to get a deep clean that's safe, gentle, and natural, and it won't irritate or inflame your sensitive skin into breaking out.
There are simply some guidelines for choosing the right kinds of oils and procedures that will help your acne-prone skin without hurting it.
How does oil cleansing work?
It seems counterintuitive — put oil on my skin to get the oil out? But that's exactly right! As you cleanse, the fresh oil enters your pores and mixes with and dissolves the oil that's already there. Then, when you rinse, nearly all the oil — the stuff you put in, and the stuff that was there to begin with (along with any dirt, leftover cosmetics, or other yuckies) — easily washes away. It leaves you with skin that retains its natural moisture but not any excess gunk.
Now, I actually have a little insight to offer into Jacquelyn's decision to do away with soap and haircare products — unlike Hoda and Kathie Lee — because I did my own experiments with baking soda and vinegar and then two months with water only, no soap, shampoo, conditioner, anything (except on my hands, which I continued to wash with soap).
I can therefore refute most of Hoda and Kathie Lee's objections to the idea and offer a more balanced view of the practice.
Bandelettes is offering our readers a giveaway of a pair of Anti-Chafing Thigh Bands to THREE winners! Each pair is worth $15, so combined this giveaway has a value of $45.
Bandelettes are sexy yet functional inner-thigh guards that fit snugly but comfortably under skirts, dresses, and shorts to prevent irritating rub and heat rashes.
My quest for the solution to chub rub
Last year I wrote one of my inadvertently most popular posts: "No-chafing options for skirts: The pettipants search begins" about my determination to find appropriate undergarments that would be comfortable in hot weather, be non-binding on my admittedly larger-than-average thighs, and able to stop thigh chafing in its tracks.
Little did I know there was a product out there that could do all of those things — plus, be attractive! I know! I was excited, too!
Bandelettes contacted me first in the comments on my post, and I decided to write them to see if they'd be up for a review and giveaway. And: Check it out. History made itself!
My Bandelettes experience
Size
First things first: You measure around your thigh at its widest point to determine your Bandelettes size, so there's no guess work. They come in sizes A (21-22") through E (29-30"), so even I found one that fit me. Bandelettes are basically like a wider version of the band that's present at the top of thigh highs. Well, I'd worn thigh-highs before, and I was worried that it would be like those one-size-fits-most-but-not-me experiences where the band was constricting and rolled up. Not so! The size I needed was exactly right on my thighs and fit snugly without slipping or binding. Score!
Were these coconut-heavy cupcakes the cause of my most recent outbreaks … or not?
For those of you avidly following the saga of my face, here's a brief update.
Quick recap so far: I have persistent adult acne, for which I've tried pretty much every treatment a dermatologist can offer. At this point, I keep it relatively under control at home with over-the-counter medication.
However: When Sam and I gave up (most) grains and sugars in October, my skin got worse. Since it couldn't be lack of grains that made it flare up, I determined it must be an excess of something else I'd added to my diet.
What it did have was a high effect on my frustration level with elimination diets!
Whereas before giving up dairy, I adjusted surprisingly easily to not eating grains, once dairy went, too, all I could think about was cheating — on both counts.
After five weeks of No! Cheese!I saw no benefits to my skin and happily gave up.
On to suspect #2
I decided to move down the list of likely acnegenic suspects, based on reading through online forums, books on primal eating, and scholarly articles on acne and diet:
Some of that is hair, and some is seaweed. Adjust your monitors for the brightness of my leg skin.
A few years back, I started seriously considering stopping shaving.
I started shaving in junior high. I was on the swim team and was mortified when we were doing our warmup stretches that I was the only girl sporting armpit hair. I tried cutting them with scissors —ouch! I tried tweezing — double ouch! I finally begged my mom to let me start in with a razor. She said, Fine, but remember: Once you start, you can't stop.
She was referring to the myth that hair grows in darker and thicker once you start shaving.
I thought, Fine by me! I don't want to stop.
For me at age 12 or 13, it was a coming of age as well as a cultural distinction. I lived in Berlin, and at the time very few German women shaved. I wanted to mark myself as an American among my American peers. I was fine with my German friends choosing differently, but I wanted to be sure I wasn't confused for anything but what I identified with.
Fast forward to now, when I'm part of this larger online network as well as various local groups of crunchy, hippie, feminist, counter-cultural parents, and I've found myself wondering if I now need to NOT shave to fit in. How the wheel turns, hey?
I posted the link on my Facebook page and got some interesting reactions, from people who've been makeup-free for years to one commenter in particular who said she's "tired of being told every single thing in my life is something else I should feel guilty about. It's exhausting."
That prompted me to go ahead and write this post that's been simmering in my mind for awhile now: a defense of makeup from a crunchy feminist.
Every so often I'll see a blogger who makes a big deal about trying out not wearing makeup for a week or whatever, and I want to give them a slow sarcasti-clap. Because nearly universally these are gorgeous, young, clear-skinned people for whom makeup is just an added flourish, like a piece of ornate crown molding on an architecturally charming house. "Oh, you're 25 with skin as smooth as porcelain, and you skipped mascara for a few days? How brave you are!" (I'm kinda snarky in real life.)
In October, Sam and I decided to stop eating grains and minimizing sugars to see how that went. It's been easier than I'd feared — much easier than my quite abounding fears! I was interested to see what effect it might have on our health, but truth be told, neither of us has any particular health concerns to monitor.
Except … my acne.
I was so hopeful that my adult-onset, hormonally triggered female acne (hate it, hate it, hate it) might react positively to the dearth of grains and sugars. There are a lot of paleo and low-carb types espousing the gospel of no-grains being the cure-all for acne. I wasn't sure how much to hope, but I was hopeful. Did I mention I'm in my mid-30s and have had this affliction now for over 15 years? It was both disappointing (how had none of my dermatologists suggested these dietary changes?) and encouraging to consider that making this relatively simple substitution in my eating might bring an end to my acne woes.
Turns out, my hope was misplaced. After giving up grains and sugars, my acne got … worse.
Yes, worse! It went from staying under control with one type of topical medication to needing extra topical treatments just to keep myself from despair at the constant large, red, painful mounds populating my chin.
This picture is a few years old, back when I was doing the breastmilk-as-acne-treatment experiment.
Yeah, that didn't work, either. This serves to show you what my skin looks like
when I feel like crawling under a rock. It's downright painful and the oozing … oh, the oozing!
The zits I have right now are much larger than in this photo — joy! Click on it to see it bigger if you dare.
I've been waiting since October for a couple days when my skin is clear enough for makeup to hide the pimples so we can race and get some overdue family portraits done. Still waiting.
What's eating my skin?
I considered: Was there any possibility that not eating grains was bad for my skin? Or, to put it in the reverse, had eating grains somehow been good for my skin?
[Updated 2016 with most current listings and what I have tried and loved.]
I want to buy pettipants or bloomers or pantaloons or something similar: like divided slips or long-legged underwear. I feel like I've entered the nineteenth century admitting such.
You see, I have this problem where I want to throw on a light skirt or summery dress … but then my inner thighs rub together when I walk. I know I'm not the only one with this problem, but it's hard to find a solution!
Some ideas I've heard to halt the chafe:
Let me just get this unhelpful one out of the way: Lose weight. Even assuming this was possible or sustainable, it's not a viable solution, because no matter what weight I've been as an adult, my thighs are just built to touch! I honestly didn't realize for many years that some women had thighs that didn't touch when they walked; it didn't seem anatomically possible to me. Secondly, I never think it's a useful idea to dress a body you don't have (even in your mind), when there's a perfectly good body you have that you could dress instead! Everyone deserves to have comfortable, appealing, and functional clothing, regardless of size or body shape.
Wear pantyhose or tights. This is what I usually resort to, but (a) this is unpleasant and should be unnecessary in warm weather, (b) I have trouble finding tights and hose that fit my height plus weight (they often droop in the crotch, which doesn't help the problem at all!), (c) this does not make me want to wear skirts and dresses (quite the contrary).
Wear pantyhose with the legs cut off. This was my go-to solution for years, but I still had to wear a slip because otherwise my skirts catch and ride up on the hose fabric, which means the idea of "throwing on" a skirt is nil since I now have a required four layers (counting undies). And as I've said, I've lately had trouble finding hose that fit. All the larger sizes seem to think you want to be as stuffed as a sausage in casing. Control top can go and die a fiery death.
Wear bike shorts. This also requires wearing a slip over but is an option if you can find some that fit. I used to have a comfortable cotton pair and am not sure where they got to — though they probably don't fit anymore, anyway.
Wear regular shorts. Too bulky.
Wear boy-cut panties or boxers. I haven't found any women's styles that don't ride up, rendering them useless for chafing purposes.
Wear men's boxers or boxer briefs if you can find a size that fits snugly on you. (If you were really petite, you could even try boys' sizes.) I might try this at some point by purloining a pair of Sam's. Men's undies tend to be cheaper than anything specialized I could buy, so there's a plus!
Wear footless leggings. I endorse this for those who can carry it off. However, in the summer leggings are still hot, and my skirts catch and ride up on them. In the winter, I have to wear shoes (not sandals), and that means I have to wear substantial socks, for I have wuss feet. I don't think that really works with leggings. I can pull off the look with boots (and knee-highs) over leggings, but sometimes I want to wear shoes. UPDATED:Tara adds the idea of shortening a pair of footless leggings for summer wear.
Wear a running skirt (which is actually a skort) underneath. Running skirts (which can serve a double purpose, obviously) are super cute and are a short skirt attached over a pair of tight-fitting bike shorts. I even found one in my closet that I forgot I bought because I figured it wouldn't fit, and I tried it on and it does fit — woo! So I wore it running and was so excited that it would become my clear solution to the chafing-under-skirts problem. Only: no. Because the inseam is short enough that the legs ride up, still, and I was tugging at them the whole run. I've determined if I wear shorts of whatever kind that they need to reach longer than the widest part of my thigh, or there's no way they won't just ride up as I walk or run. (Wait, don't Miss America contestants glue their swimsuits in place to prevent wedgies? Maybe that's what I need!) UPDATED:Anna recommends Skirt Sports and the Happy Girl Skirt ($70) in particular. I actually had been looking at this company a couple months ago and debating whether to order one of their skirts — they look wonderful.
Rub antiperspirant on your inner thighs. Helps a little because of moisture control but doesn't eliminate the problem. Also troublesome to rub chemically laden product near sensitive areas.
Use powder. Doesn't last. Also troublesome near lady parts, depending what it's made of. UPDATED:Shae recommends corn flour. Sounds nice and natural! Laura recommends Gold Bond Powder. I've heard good things about that brand in particular.
Use diaper cream. Works to heal the irritation but not prevent it. UPDATED: Kara in the comments suggests trying lanolin or Aquaphor over adding layers in hot climates.
Vaseline. Tried this. Ineffective and messy! If anything, it made the stickiness worse.
Use a commercial anti-chafe product, such as hard-core cyclists and runners use. Haven't tried this but can't buy it this month! Not convinced they'll work as well for thighs, since most of the reviews mention feet (blister prevention) and nipples (for male runners; I just use a bra, yo), and since I had a bad experience with the Vaseline. I worry also about questionable ingredients and that it will rub off on and ruin my clothes. UPDATED:Anna recommends Bodyglide and says she loves it.
Wear Chafe Shield Anti-Chafing Underwear — bwa ha ha ha ha! I seriously can't imagine how uncomfortable and embarrassing I would find these. [Edited: Apparently, everyone agreed, because I can't find them any longer!]
Then someone online suggested: Try pettipants! And bloomers! So I've been wanting to try some, but I can't decide (a) what fabric to get (slippery nylon? breathable cotton? a mix? and what can I find, anyway?), (b) what length I should choose (my skirts vary in length and include knee-length options, so I'd rather have shorter if possible, but not at the expense of having them ride up and allow continued chafing), and (c) which brand (the reviews of the commercial ones are all over the map, and not everyone is buying them for anti-chafing purposes, which means I have to read the reviews carefully).
The other problem is, I also wear some skorts (scooters?) in the summer months where I'm having the same problem. I guess the inner legs of the shorts are too gappy/flappy or just too short an inseam. I don't know if there's anything I could wear under those that wouldn't show? Or any way I could alter the shorts legs to be more form-fitting?
Since I'm not spending money on the above possibilities, anyone who wants to test drive a solution, go for it and then send me in your report for a follow-up post!
Some options for pettipants I was considering buying:
Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the best blogposts I've read throughout the week.
Mikko "helping" set up the tent
We had our second-ever family camping adventure this past week. Our first was when Mikko was around Alrik's age, and we stayed in a tipi at a youth hostel. This time, we got the proper equipment and went to an actual campsite. With dirt and bugs and all. We called it Family Camp, since Mikko and Sam had had Boy Camp when Alrik and I had gone away to Portland for a couple nights.
I loved all of it … until the sleeping part. Even with an air mattress (that, admittedly, kept gradually deflating) and a sleeping bag, I was uncomfortable and cold. Alrik has never liked being swaddled — he kept flailing himself out of the sleeping bag and whacking me in the face with his limbs. I couldn't zip up the bag since I needed to keep it on both of us, and I often had a breast out for obvious reasons, so I could not get warm. The deflating air mattress meant my hip or my butt (the lowest part of me) was always in contact with the ground. And this weird silvery light kept intruding and bugging me. I figured it was some security lamp near the outhouses. It wasn't until I went there for a visit at 5 in the morning (I'd finally admitted to myself I wasn't going to fall asleep until I peed again) that I realized: Oh. It's the moon.
There's a city slicker for you.
Before the sleeping part, I was thinking, We went to all this trouble to set up the tent — we should stay for two nights — three — a week!
And then when I wasn't sleeping at 2 a.m., and 3 a.m., and so forth, I was thinking, I think I'm coherent enough right now to drive us all home if we can pack up the tent in the dark.
But the good parts were really good. The boys got to dig on the beach. There was a burn ban, but we were allowed to bring charcoal for the grill at the campsite, so we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows (health foods for healthy outdoor living!), and it was seriously scrumptious. Mikko thought it was great fun to walk with our lantern through the dark woods to the larger bathroom for teeth brushing time, and he gathered a leaf bouquet on the same walk the next morning. I also loved that this was the first official day of back-to-school for most children around here — and here we were unschooling out in the wild!
Plus, it's just so interesting to have your house be a tent. It just is. We got a luxuriously roomy one, too, so we can have, like, four more children and still fit all right. I love little, makeshift spaces like that (and I'll ignore for this purpose the insects that were swarming all over the ceiling). Like, wouldn't it be awesome to live in a treehouse for a summer?
I think there’s an important distinction between saying yes and being over-indulgent. Part of the distinction for me, is saying yes to intangible needs and wants, rather than just material requests. I guess it boils down to saying yes to taking the time for meaningful engagement, and I don’t believe that’s ever over-indulgent. I hope that when our kids are adults they’ll remember the underdogs on the playground and the bedtime stories, not just which Lego kits we bought.
Thankful for this response to my low-spend month adventures on what typical, everyday American poverty looks like. I’m glad someone agrees with me that it kinda sucks.
Poverty means feeling guilty going to others’ houses because you can’t reciprocate.
Poverty means feeling embarrassed when your friends or acquaintances assume you have more money than you do, and you don’t want to let on how poor you are.
Poverty means wearing clothes that don’t fit because you can’t afford to buy new ones just because you gained or lost weight.
Poverty means being that person who snatches up every bite of free food at an office party, and hopes no one thinks you’re a pig.
9.5 / Addition from Steffani: “Being Poor” at Whatever (Here's some real, real being poor in this country.)
Helpful look at the science behind why maintaing a weight loss is nearly always impossible.
Interesting note: I found a link to this article through a weight maintaining blog, where all the comments were of the variety “What a negative article! I’m going to disregard it so I can think positively.” Because ignoring facts makes them go away.
We love saving money (and retaining control) by cutting our own hair in this family (sometimes our own and sometimes each other’s), but it’s hard to find hairstylists who will give you tips for anything more challenging than trimming bangs. This article gives some good pointers if you want to get brave and snip further!
Tip: I also have checked books out of the library on hair cutting that were meant for studying cosmetology students, so that’s another place to look. Also, experimentation will teach you a lot…
So glad to have stumbled upon these pens “for her” — and the resultant reviews. My favorite (a 1-star):
I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day’s tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks.
I'm Lauren Wayne, writer and natural parent. I embrace attached parenting with an emphasis toward green living.
Riding the rails with my husband, Crackerdog Sam, and our hobo kids, Mikko Lint Picker (born June 2007), Alrik Irontrousers (born May 2011), and Karsten (born October 2014). Trying every day to parent intentionally and with grace.
Have you heard of the oil cleansing method, where you wash your face with … yup … oil? If you have acne or oily skin, you've probably shied away, assuming that adding oil wouldn't help at best and, at worst, would make you erupt into Mount Pimple.
The other day, 
or bloomers or pantaloons or something similar: like divided slips or long-legged underwear. I feel like I've entered the nineteenth century admitting such. 
in place to prevent wedgies? Maybe that's what I need!) UPDATED: 
and says she loves it.
— bwa ha ha ha ha! I seriously can't imagine how uncomfortable and embarrassing I would find these.
I'm Lauren Wayne, writer and natural parent. I embrace attached parenting with an emphasis toward green living. 
