Breastfeeding the third and final nursling
After eleven years of breastfeeding three babies, with part of a year off for one pregnancy, I have officially weaned: myself, my babies, my body. I no longer lactate. I have no nurslings. I am done with my breastfeeding time.
Of course, this is bittersweet. I thought a lot about what I did and didn't want to do to commemorate this change in my life. I didn't want to know when the exact last nursing was, for instance. Karsten petered off around age three and a half, and I let that be vague in my mind. I didn't want to know:
This is how it ends. I didn't want to worry it wasn't the bestest nursing session ever or wonder if it would repeat. I don't know when the last time was, and that's fine by me.
 |
Breastfeeding on the left side so my right hand is free
for important swiping-related activities. |
I was curious
why button-down shirts tailored to women button right over left whereas men's button left over right, and I came across
this article from The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams (emphasis mine):
"Buttoning left over right — the man's way — is supposedly easiest for right-handed people. According to legend, women button right over left because in medieval times they were dressed by their right-handed maids. Don't buy it? Can't say as I blame you, but the alternative explanation is no improvement: men had to keep their right hand tucked into their coats so as to be ready for cold-weather swordplay, whereas women always breastfed with the left breast (hey, that's what it says here) and protected their babies by covering them with the right side of the dress or coat."
Now, these might not be the
real reasons for the button differential, and I don't really care. (I find theories just as satisfying as answers for some of these burning questions in my brain.)
What interests me more is the new question that formed:
Do you breastfeed more on your left side than your right, too?
I don't have a very good overarching theme for these images.
I just thought I'd celebrate Wordless Wednesday
(in my usual non-wordless fashion)
by sharing some fun pics from Instagram
(@HoboMamacom & @PirateFamilyFun).
On a trip to Barnes & Noble, I was pleased to see this sweet little sticker in the window:
People have been asking me where we sourced this Rainbow Dash hoodie,
so I will let you in on the secret: Amazon. Bam.
 |
| Mikko looks on as his newborn youngest brother, Karsten, nurses on the first day. |
There's so much to love about breastfeeding beyond infancy: the closeness, the health benefits for you and your nursling, having a tool to calm and connect. Here's one that continues well beyond the time nursing stops:
Your child will think breastfeeding is normal and natural. Because it is.
Mikko is eight years old, and our nursing days are literally
years behind us. But he breastfed till five years old, old enough to remember, and
what he remembers is all pleasant. He describes nummy milk as the best milk in the world, sweeter than ice cream, even though he has no current desire to taste it; the memory is enough. He remembers snuggling and being close, and he's confident and content in those memories as well.
And he's taken those memories and projected them on to his baby brother. Karsten is nine months old, and still breastfeeding like whoa. Mikko loves it. He cheers him on. Whenever Karsten makes the slightest fuss, Mikko will turn to me:
"Give him nummies, Mama."
When Karsten's eating, Mikko will lean in close and say affectionately, "You're a nummy thief, aren't you?" Karsten will break off nursing to smile milkily up at his brother. Mikko loves that Karsten's being nourished, body and soul,
just as he was.
I've breastfed in some unusual places in the past eight years of nursing my three sons. My philosophy is that
breastfeeding can happen at any time or place, wherever I am and whenever my baby wants to eat.
That's led to some interesting breastfeeding locations!
I hope you'll share some of yours in the comments, or even in your own post.
At a lavender festival
(I wanted somewhere to sit, so originally they directed me to a sheltered spot. But eventually I wanted to get back to work on my lavender crafts so I just propped Mikko up while I got to it.)
In a mountain village
(And on the way there. My father-in-law was rather exasperated we had to pull over.)
On ferries
On a tour boat
(That was during my only — failed — attempt to use a blanket as a cover — it kept blowing off!)
On a sailboat
(I still question the wisdom of taking a newborn on a sailboat…)
On a motor boat
(That life jacket was pretty hilariously big for Alrik.)
At Pike Place Market
(I remember how awkward I felt getting settled on a bench there with newborn Mikko, with strangers sitting and standing all around me, but we managed!)
At two Nordic Festivals
(Skål!)
Sam and I recently rewatched
Away We Go, the movie starring Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski, directed by Sam Mendes, and written by the husband-and-wife team of Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida. Since it's a film about pregnancy and wondering about the future, we thought now (at seven months along with my third) was the perfect time to give it another view.
I love this movie.
Verona (Rudolph) and Burt (Krasinski) are six months along in expecting their first child. They're in their thirties and living somewhere sort of ramshackle, with a cardboard window and woodworking tools in the bedroom, so they decide to hit the road to visit friends and family members to decide where they want to settle and raise their daughter.
It's a mellow, funny, offbeat sort of movie, and
I really dig the main characters and the journey they make, both physical and metaphorical.
Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!
This post was written as part of the Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about your breastfeeding (when you were a baby!) story. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18-31!
My mother breastfed all three of us — two brothers and me — when we were babies. I obviously don't recall the experience of being breastfed myself or seeing it with my older brother, but I was nine when my younger brother was born and was fascinated by the act of breastfeeding, as discreet as my mom was about it. For awhile after my brother was born, I used to pretend to breastfeed my dolls — in secret, because I wasn't sure it wasn't just a little weird or dirty for me to do so at that age — in imitation.
My mom's also told me stories of breastfeeding my older brother and me. For instance, my older brother stopped within weeks, self-weaning as she maintains; with my current knowledge of breastfeeding behavior, I'd be more inclined to call it a
nursing strike, but I see no reason to change her perception of the past at this distant point. She's described trying to nurse me in a bridesmaid's dress (in private) at an uncle's wedding, and missing out on a family party nursing me in a back bedroom, feeling isolated from all the fun.
From seeing her breastfeeding behavior with my little brother, I suspect she supplemented my older brother and me with bottles of formula the same way she did with him, and I know she weaned me by about nine months.
But I feel really grateful and impressed that she breastfed us at all and for as long as she did.
 |
Breastfeeding in very early pregnancy
during the photo shoot for my babywearing book |
Since I was public about my decision to let my first child nurse through my pregnancy and tandem nurse, I want to be public about my decision this time around:
I'm in the second trimester right now, and my nearly three-year-old second child has mostly weaned, with my guidance.
I
chose to breastfeed Mikko through Alrik's pregnancy because, ahead of time,
I saw no good reason to quit, and plenty of good ones to continue. Mikko, then three, was showing no signs of wanting to stop, and so many of his nutritional
and emotional needs were being met through nursing. Plus, I knew tandem breastfeeding would help smooth his transition from an only child to a big brother of a much-younger sibling, and I'd always hoped for child-led weaning.
But then I actually did it. For plenty of those who try, the experience is bearable and even enjoyable. For me, and for many others,
nursing during pregnancy and the resulting breast tenderness was very painful –
very. My milk dried up by the end of the first trimester, taking away that benefit for Mikko (and leading to some very sad nights for both of us). And as much as I enjoyed the extra snuggliness and sharing of tandem nursing, I was
wholly unprepared for an unwelcome side effect:
nursing aversion, and how. I couldn't
stand nursing Mikko for a long time, and put up with it long enough to move through it and out the other side to a
gentle, mama-directed weaning just after he turned five. (Yep, even then, Mikko wasn't ready, but I was at that point.)
So
why make a totally opposite decision with Alrik and this pregnancy? For one thing, I can. It was always my choice to continue nursing Mikko (not coercion on his part, too much guilt on mine, or external pressure from the dear fellow hippies I consort with — they were sympathetic and supportive in whatever choice I made). One reason we waited two and a half years to get pregnant with our third, even though I ain't getting any younger, was to
give Alrik his chance to continue nursing.
Sorry to be so thoroughly unwordless on a Wordless Wednesday, but
today is the day you can hear me speak at the Nourished Living Summit about long-term breastfeeding and tandem nursing!
It is FREE to listen to my talk, and you have 48 hours to listen.
Head over RIGHT NOW to register — for FREE — in order to listen to my presentation (or any of the others on natural family living still to come through April 29!).
Today is also the day you can
start buying lifetime access to the FULL Nourished Living Summit. If you want to hear
any of the 69 incredible speakers (including Dr. Jay Gordon and Elizabeth Pantley), today's the day to purchase your lifetime access.
Because…
TODAY ONLY, it's $20 off. It's a 24-hour sale that will go away tomorrow, so April 9 only, the full summit is $127.
You can also
purchase individual tracks if you're interested in certain topics particularly.
Want to hear me speak about
long-term breastfeeding along with
61 other presentations on natural family living from 68 other (amazing) speakers? And want to hear it all
for free?
I'm a presenter and happy affiliate of the
Nourished Living Summit, which brings together natural health, wellness, and parenting professionals who are dedicated to helping parents care for their family naturally. These experts know that this parenting gig is not easy and as such are equipping you with the information you need to either begin, continue, or expand your journey as a natural-minded parent.
The Nourished Living Summit is a FREE online event
that runs March 24 through April 29.
This is one in a series of guest posts by other bloggers. Read to the end for a longer biographical note on today's guest blogger, Mercedes from Project Procrastinot. I am in awe of parents of twins — and particularly those who manage to breastfeed two hungry babies through toddlerhood. Mercedes gives us her tips and comparisons for breastfeeding twin newborns vs. twin toddlers, so if you're in the same boat, take heart: It gets easier. Or, at least: different.
Guest post by Mercedes of Project Procrastinot
When my twins were born, I couldn't know for certain if I would reach my goal of breastfeeding them for one year. Now that they are sixteen months, the idea of weaning them seems very strange. It just doesn't feel like our time is up, although nursing toddlers has its own challenges.
Here are the main differences between nursing twin newborns and nursing older twins, in my experience.
Welcome to the December 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: The More Things Change…
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories and wisdom about life changes.
I've enjoyed learning more about the body's state of homeostasis: the
tendency toward stability, as controlled through
multiple and ongoing small changes.
For instance, our body's temperature might be an average of 98.6 degrees (
or not) — but only because the body constantly reacts to make it so, sweating to cool us, shivering to warm us, and many smaller responses that we don't even consciously register.
In other words, we're
always changing — and
always staying the same.
I feel a lot of homeostasis in my own life.
Please head over to the Healthy Child Summit today to hear me talk about breastfeeding beyond infancy and tandem nursing!
The Healthy Child Summit is
FREE and is in sneak-peek mode right now, and my interview was selected for inclusion in this preview. The full summit will be available in February, but for now you can hear me speak
today only!
Hop over
with my affiliate link to register and listen for free!
A long time ago, I wrote a
quite depressing post on how
postpartum sex after Mikko's birth kinda sucked, for a long time. I used words like "chafing" and "neutral" and "no physical sensations of pleasure." It was about nine months after Mikko's birth before I started enjoying myself again.
I thought I really should do a baby #2 update for you, since things were
completely, entirely different this time around. Go figure, right?
Warnings once more: TMI up the wazoo & likely NSFW. Let's be blunt, shall we?
I'll go through the topics I covered last time to contrast and compare.
Physical recovery
Once again, I had a vaginal birth without medications or interventions. Well, definitely this time, since
Sam and I were the only ones there! I probably pushed too fast in my excitement and surprise that a
baby's head was coming out of me before the midwife had arrived, so I did have a little tearing that needed stitches. However, not many, and the pain down there was just sort of twingey. My bidet (
!!!) helped a lot with those early days of soothing, and I had postpartum compresses pre-frozen for myself that I lurved. (I should really post my recipes for those sometime!) However, I was quite lochia-y and otherwise feeling worn out from the birth for a couple weeks. My uterus was very stretched out, making it a bit hard to breathe from the pressure on my diaphragm. (I had to lift it up and push it in when I walked for the first week or so.)
Anyhoo, I was much more hesitant this second time around to even
attempt anything in the pantsal region (that's a term; look it up) until
at least the prescribed six-week waiting period was up. I'm not even sure when exactly we did first re-attempt the horizontal mambo.
I do, however, remember
tensing up, bracing myself, waiting, waiting … and …
it felt GOOD!
Welcome to the World Breastfeeding 2013 Blog Carnival cohosted by NursingFreedom.org and The San Diego Breastfeeding Center!
This post was written for inclusion in the WBW 2013 Blog Carnival. Our participants will be writing and sharing their stories about community support and normalizing breastfeeding all week long. Find more participating sites in the list at the bottom of this post or at the main carnival page.
This year's World Breastfeeding Week theme is Breastfeeding Support: Close to Mothers. In that spirit, I'm sharing my stories in the hopes of contributing to the dialogue about real-life breastfeeding experiences.
I've been reluctant to talk about Mikko's weaning, even though it's now over a year in the past. Mostly it's because I'm a sentimental fool who tears up every time I even
hear the word weaning, much less speak it — in relation to my own children!
I know it's a totally natural and beneficial step toward growing up. But, dang it, my nurslings and I have had such a special connection, and it's definitely sad to see that specific type of connection end, even if it's gently and honorably, and even though life and other connections continue on.
Here, as best I can remember it, is Mikko's story of going from extended nursling to weanling.
Welcome to the World Breastfeeding 2013 Blog Carnival cohosted by NursingFreedom.org and The San Diego Breastfeeding Center!
This post was written for inclusion in the WBW 2013 Blog Carnival. Our participants will be writing and sharing their stories about community support and normalizing breastfeeding all week long. Find more participating sites in the list at the bottom of this post or at the main carnival page.
This year's World Breastfeeding Week theme is Breastfeeding Support: Close to Mothers. In that spirit, I'm sharing my stories in the hopes of contributing to the dialogue about real-life breastfeeding experiences.
This post is my State of the Union address on how nursing my second-born is going. I don't find as much to say about it on a daily or weekly basis, because it just
is. But I will attempt to elucidate and evaluate:
Smooth sailing
The good news is, everything's mostly just great. We haven't encountered any major nursing problems (mastitis, clogged ducts, nursing strikes, tongue tie, low milk supply, etc.), so I'm one lucky ducky. Alrik's got a good latch still, the milk's flowing, I don't have nursing aversion with him (the way I did with his older brother before he weaned), and I'd long established a routine and wardrobe for easy nursing.
How much and how often
As for frequency , he's nursing many times a day and at least a few times a night (more on that later). He nurses more often if I'm around and he's not otherwise distracted; in other words, if he's bored. Sometimes, if I suspect that's why he's asking to nurse, I'll set about distracting him if I'm not in the mood. I feel fine about that. If Sam or I think he's thirsty, we might also offer a drink of something else. His longer nursing sessions are going to bed, going down for a nap, waking up from a nap, and waking up from his nighttime sleep, when he has to have both sides and actual milk flow. The ones during the day otherwise are usually much quicker and can end as soon as something else catches his attention. Of course, if he's distraught about something, nummies are very soothing.
Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the
best blogposts I've read throughout the week.
Mikko and I went downtown to attend the Science Expo and Mini Makers Faire (for mini-inventors) yesterday. It
rocked. Since we're unschooling but inventions and science are not my bailiwick, I love that there are resources like this out there that can satisfy him.
 |
This is his typical non-smile for photos, but he was super proud of the light-up pin
he's sporting that he soldered himself. I was proud, too! I've never soldered a thing. |
And what do you think all that science-learning did for him?
 |
My little scientist is also a conservationist. He volunteered to clean up
all the trash around the bus stop because it would be "good for the environment." |
Woot! Science!
Good links to share!
I hear about {affiliate link}
this book from *everyone*, and I keep wanting/hoping we might implement these strategies. But also not wanting to disrupt my own bad habits. Hmm.
But, seriously y’all, I was skeptical at first about whether the tricks in this book would work for us. I have employed some aspects of attachment parenting, and one of them that I associate with the trend is to offer children choices and let them articulate their preferences and control aspects of their food world. If I had to pick one thing I’ve learned in the last week, it’s that the science does not agree; in fact, it suggests children aren’t capable of deciding what they should eat, and these decisions actually stress them out.
Interesting idea of offering chore sticks for extra spending money.
I believe in sharing honestly about breastfeeding, even the negative and ambivalent aspects.
Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the
best blogposts I've read throughout the week.
The birthday boys at their Chuck E. Cheese party:
 |
| "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown." |
I swear they actually did have an awesome time, photo evidence notwithstanding! Mikko told me later it was the best day of his life, and Alrik's still chattering on about tokens and tickets and cake-cake.
Good links to share!
On the challenge, joys, and ambivalence of tandem breastfeeding.
Most times when you are having a hard time and you share your experience you get a supportive response. In my experience people are generally encouraging when I’m going through difficult times.
It’ll be okay. Keep trying. It will be worth it in the long run. You’ll get through this. One day at a time.
With tandem nursing or extended breastfeeding the response is different.
The very supportive people say, I don’t know how you do it, I couldn’t.
Everyone else says, Why don’t you quit? Cut her off. She’s had enough. If she’s old enough to ask, she’s too old to be nursing. If she’s potty trained she shouldn’t be nursing anymore. She doesn’t need it anymore. She needs real food.
I can’t think of any other challenge I’ve had in my life where, when I seek out support or need to vent about how difficult it is, people suggest that I quit.
I love the city not for what it offers but for what it is: for its people, its perspectives, its progress.
I'm Lauren Wayne, writer and natural parent. I embrace attached parenting with an emphasis toward green living. 
