Friday, May 11, 2012

We're all mom enough at BlogHer

Dionna backstage at TIMEI've posted my response to the TIME Magazine attachment parenting cover story controversy at BlogHer.

Dionna of Code Name: Mama and my cofounder at Natural Parents Network is luminous model #3 in the TIME story (that's her behind the scenes at right). I was up for being one of the extended breastfeeding families photographed for TIME, and I'm alternately jealous and relieved I wasn't chosen, because — hoo, boy, what a firestorm the media like to create.

I comment on the narrow focus (thin, white women) and sensationalistic slant of the article and advocate for a call to community:

My general take on The Mommy Wars, the beautiful AP families who modeled for the magazine, the unfortunate slant of the TIME article, and the horrific comments some people have made on various sites is this: We're all parenting the best we know how. We're doing what works for us and our families. We don't need to set up barriers that don't exist between parents who are all doing what we can to raise healthy, happy children.

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4 comments:

Inder-ific said...

Thanks, Lauren, I love your little article! All of the fracas over this article is making me feel a bit ill. I am so. over. the. mommy. wars. I really don't even have words for it anymore. I am pretty sure it's all made up (by the media) anyway.

I'm beginning to see it as part of some kind of crazy backlash against feminism - a way to divide women and set them against each other so that we'll be too distracted to talk about our real problems, like, you know, lack of paid maternity leave, lack of support for breastfeeding or just parenting in general, glass ceilings, etc. (Look at me, I'm becoming paranoid!)

Apparently I practice "extreme parenting." Jeez. I don't feel like an extremist. I think of myself as pretty moderate, really. SIGH.

Camille Griffiths said...

I love this post, will definitely be passing it along. Thanks for saying all the things that need to be said!

Joy said...

Inder-ific--unfortunately, I don't think you are being paranoid at all. Women aren't the first (nor will we be the last) community set against ourselves and divided in order to preserve the power and privilege of those who currently hold that power and privilege. It goes along with targeting minority groups for persecution--as long as our focus is on that persecution we become unable to address the true problems (of which that persecution is a symptom and a devise).

Thank you Lauren for your thoughtful and well stated response!

Kate Wicker said...

I was being considered for the shoot as well but couldn't make it because of a travel conflict. I was initially disappointed, but I'm now greatly relieved. I admit I haven't seen the inside or read the article, but the cover angered me greatly for myriad reasons. The only thing "attached" on the cover was the child's mouth to his mother's breast. Mothering is about love; breastfeeding about emotional attachment. When you remove the love, it's no wonder it looks weird to others. At any rate, I wrote about it more on my personal site: http://katewicker.com/2012/05/this-is-what-extended-breastfeeding-really-looks-like.html

I really appreciated, Lauren, what you said about tandem and/or extended nursing seeming weird to all of us at once point. I never set out to nurse a 3-year-old, but our relationship has naturally evolved in to a long-term one, and it is indeed a beautiful, loving, and natural thing.

Code Name: Mama does look lovely and luminous. Thanks for sharing. I didn't realize she'd made it into the pages.

Thank you for all you do to encourage moms!

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