Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the best blogposts I've read throughout the week.

No matter our differences in parenting styles, we can all appreciate the quiet moments of motherhood, and the deep welling of love we feel for our children … when they're asleep. Heh heh.

With all the TIME hullabaloo this week, I'm devoting the space (mostly) to the wise parents who have much to say about what attachment parenting and long-term breastfeeding are really all about. I really love residing among this community of bloggers who truly care about all parents and about respecting parenting choices. In these links, there's no condemnation, no fuel added to the Mommy Wars fire. It's all honest, reflective, sometimes (legitimately) angry, and often inspiring critical thinking about what the magazine was saying versus what is actually true.

So hang on to your hat and start reading. Note that Tumblr arranges the posts in reverse chronological order, so you might want to start at the bottom and work up.

1 minute ago

#breastfeeding
#breastfeeding beyond infancy
#extended breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
#attachment parenting
More TIME Magazine links roundup
Well, seeing as it’s officially Sunday, I’ve run out of time to read and comment on the rest of the articles discussing the TIME article in my Reader. Herewith I will simply paste them all and leave you to it, if you want to delve further:
• Mom: Breastfeeding Kid, 3, “Not for Everybody” (interview with Jamie Lynne Grumet) — Hulu/NBC Today Show
• In Defense of My Friend Jamie Lynne Grumet — TIME’s Breastfeeding Cover Girl — Shannon Bradley-Colleary at Huffington Post
• Whipping It Out for Toddlers — MamaLady
• A Critical Response to Time Magazine — The Accidental Natural Mama
• Thanks for nothing, TIME magazine — A Gift Universe
• Breastfeeding: A Private and Sacred Act? — Dulce de leche
• What’s More Offensive Than TIME’s Breastfeeding Cover Story? This PR Pitch… — The Feminist Breeder
• TIME Widening the Gap — The Adventures of Lactating Girl
• Time — the bee in your bonnet
• Musing on the Time Cover and Attachment Parenting — Musing Mommy
• links: the Time magazine controversy. — boho mama
• Five Truths About Attachment Parenting — The Variegated Life
• breastfeeding is not norm — Organic Baby Atlanta
• TIME: Ask the RIGHT questions! — MomsRising
• Six misconceptions about “extended” breastfeeding — The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog
• On Being Mom Enough — To Have The Conversation That TIME Started — Her Bad Mother
• Why I Am Loving Every Moment of the TIME Cover Debate — Jennifer James Online
• A Response to “The” Time Magazine Article — Our Muddy Boots
• Wouldn’t you rather be Mom AUTHENTIC? — Authentic Parenting
• I am enough: a Mother’s Day declaration — The Lone Home Ranger
• On contrived debates, strawmoms, and kyriarchy’s binds — Raising My Boychick
• Be The Best Mom That You Can Be — Mommy News & Views Blog
• urban attachment freak — grumbles and grunts
• Time Magazine Cover: Are You Mom Enough? Round-up of Responses — Real Child Development
If I’ve missed any others, leave your links in the comments!
6 minutes ago

#breastfeeding
#long-term breastfeeding
#health
#TIME Magazine
Yes, she’s 4, and yes, she’s still breastfeeding. « normal, like breathing →
Heartwarming story of giving a child the connection she needed through a difficult surgery and recovery. Another case study to show that breastfeeding past infancy is normal and beneficial.
24 minutes ago

#attachment parenting
#breastfeeding
#long-term breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
This is what extended breastfeeding really looks like | Kate Wicker →
Pictorial response to show the connection of breastfeeding beyond infancy. As Kate points out, connection is what attachment parenting is all about.
54 minutes ago

#attachment parenting
#TIME Magazine
#breastfeeding
#babywearing
#long-term breastfeeding
#cosleeping
WaldenMommy, Part Two:: The AP'd child speaks out →
An adult who was raised by attachment parents (who were previously also raised by attachment parents) talks about the effects of having breastfed into toddlerhood, having coslept with her parents, and having been worn in carriers. Hint: She’s not a freak. ;)
1 hour ago

#attachment parenting
#fathers
#TIME Magazine
"For our family, pursuing the principles of attachment parenting is something we do as a unit, all supporting each other and participating in creating a strong family bond. Even our children participate in modeling the principles in their relationship with each other and with their parents. Attachment parenting isn’t something I do to my child. Attachment parenting is something we practice as a family."
Are you MOM ENOUGH? Yes, you probably are. | Care2 Causes, written by Annie of PhD in Parenting
1 hour ago

#attachment parenting
#breastfeeding
#long-term breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
#Mayim Bialik
Mayim Bialik on CNN making perfect sense about the fact that attachment parenting is not in fact about how long you breastfeed or whether you cosleep, but that it’s about being responsive to our children. I really love her commonsense responses to this kerfuffle. It’s telling that the interviewer keeps insisting, “But how long are you going to breastfeed?” and Dr. Bialik (I like the sound of that) keeps deflecting it with the point she’s trying to make: that it doesn’t matter.
(Source: CNN)
1 hour ago

#breastfeeding
#long-term breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
"Women who breastfeed their children for three years are outliers, but they are not spectacles, and we shouldn’t hold them up as either Madonnas or freaks. Women who do not breastfeed are not monsters, and we should not condemn them, or really have any opinion about their decision at all."
Lisa Belkin: No. I Am Not Mom Enough.
2 hours ago

#adoption
#breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
#long-term breastfeeding
where is the mommy-war for the motherless child? | Rage Against the Minivan →
As a huge adoption supporter, I really appreciate this article advocating for children who don’t have parents and need them.
I have to admit, I have reservations with the whole “first world problem” designation used to dismiss anyone who has a concern that’s valid but not as hierarchically earth-shattering as someone else’s concern. So where she says it’s not important how you feed your kids or whether you circumcise your son, I disagree. It is important. Things like that are not a test for whether you’re a good parent — I heartily agree with that. But it’s entirely acceptable to advocate for those issues as well as more far-reaching ones. If someone you knew had thyroid cancer, would you say, “First world problem! At least you didn’t die of dysentery when you were three”? It’s just not helpful to take that stance.
Ok, but back to the point of the article: My heart aches for the children in foster care, group homes, unstable households, and orphanages. I wish more people were willing to adopt, and I wish adoption were easier, less expensive, and more socially supported. I wish families were more socially supported, which would go a long way toward my wish that being an adoptive family were easier.
3 hours ago

#attachment parenting
#TIME Magazine
#parenting
"[I]f they are grubby from no more than good clean earth and comfortable, that you are enough. You are enough mom for your children. Because you are their mom, and that is enough."
True Confessions of a Real Mommy: Just Another Mom, and That is Enough.
4 hours ago

#breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
#long-term breastfeeding
We are All Mom Enough | Tales of a Kitchen Witch →
Cutting through the drama and showing that we are ALL confident moms. Joni Rae invites us to spoof the infamous pose with our own kids, in whatever form you wish (breastfeeding or sippy cupping or no), and share it proudly.

5 hours ago

#breastfeeding
#long-term breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
Kroger Pulling Time Magazine From Registers | Code Name: Mama →
Apparently breastfeeding’s been normalized enough for me now that I did not see this one coming.
6 hours ago (1 note)

#breastfeeding
#extended breastfeeding
#long-term breastfeeding
#breastfeeding past infancy
#TIME Magazine
Dionna Ford: TIME Magazine Cover: Extended Breastfeeding Does Not Equal Extreme →
Dionna’s insightful response at HuffPost on the subject of breastfeeding past infancy (and I’m quoted):
Nursing past infancy is part of our healthy, loving relationship. As my friend and co-founder of Natural Parents Network, Lauren of Hobo Mama wrote: “You breastfeed day by day, not a year’s leap at a time. Nursing [my son] today, at 3-years-old, is different from breastfeeding him at 2-years-old by only one day, one moment. He didn’t become a gangly toddler overnight, so I had plenty of gradual time to adjust my vision of what a nursling looks like, each day.”
So you see, nursing past infancy simply does not feel extreme to us. Why does my son still nurse?
He nurses because I am his warm, safe place.
This is what works for us. You may do things differently. Neither of us is more extreme or better than the other.
7 hours ago

#attachment parenting
#breastfeeding
#TIME Magazine
KellyNaturally.com | Derision and Scorn: How Time Dropped the Ball on Attachment Parenting →
Kelly focuses on the fact that TIME got attachment parenting itself all wrong.
9 hours ago

#breastfeeding
#attachment parenting
#parenting
#natural parenting
#Natural Parents Network
We're all mom enough | BlogHer →
Here’s my response at BlogHer:
My general take on The Mommy Wars, the beautiful AP families who modeled for the magazine, the unfortunate slant of the TIME article, and the horrific comments some people have made on various sites is this: We’re all parenting the best we know how. We’re doing what works for us and our families. We don’t need to set up barriers that don’t exist between parents who are all doing what we can to raise healthy, happy children.
I so appreciate your sharing and commenting over at BlogHer — I'd love to see them bump this message of tolerance to the front page!

10 hours ago

#TIME Magazine
#breastfeeding
#attachment parenting
#Dr. Sears
We’re all mom. Enough!
All right, get ready — I’m going to round up some links I’ve enjoyed about the TIME magazine cover story controversy.
First off, here’s the article itself:
The Man Who Remade Motherhood
You need a subscription to read it in full, which I don’t have so will have to wait till I can make it to the library.
I’ll say that even the headlines and the opening paragraph irritate me:
Joanne Beauregard is nothing so much as she is a mother. When she and her husband had trouble conceiving, Joanne quit her job as an accountant to focus full time on getting pregnant. When she did, she chose to give birth at home, without pain medication. Then, for months, Beauregard sat on the couch in her Denver-area living room, nursing her infant from sunup to sundown. She nursed much of the night as well, since the baby slept in bed with Beauregard and her husband Daniel, a software engineer.
The cover says attachment parenting drives us mothers to “extremes” and calls Dr. Sears our “guru.” Um…well. I have something to say about that in the future. Just wanted to highlight it here to remind me to vent later…
Just as a preview, what mother do you know who sits on a couch ALL DAY LONG for MONTHS to breastfeed? I’m not saying Joanne doesn’t exist, but that is not the norm for attachment parents. The end.
You do get a full glimpse of the photo shoot:
Behind the Cover: Are You Mom Enough?
The photos are admittedly quite beautiful, though naturally they chose the most confrontational one to grace the cover. Dionna of Code Name: Mama andNatural Parents Network is model #3 with her son and daughter.
Thank you to Laura at Walden Mommy for the title reimagination!
1 week ago

#balance
#gentle discipline
#isolation
#support
Connected Mom: The Frustrated Mom →
(Look — a link about something else!) On frustration, anger, and hopelessness and how they can overwhelm mothers.

Poetry of a Hobo Mama giveaways

Do a poet a favor, will you? Please be super kind to these wonderful hosts who are doing their best and boldest to promote these giveaways and go and enter. I don't mind if you hate poetry and vow never to read my book — you can give it as a baby shower gift, or wrap it up as a belated Mother's Day present to your mama, or donate it to your local library. I just want to share these poems that have meant so much to me, and support the blogs who are supporting my dream. I don't say this out of a place of desperation or frustration at all, just truly out of a desire to honor these reviewers for their hard work. Thank you so much!

If you entered my previous giveaways, winners have been notified. So if you didn't get an email, you're free to try, try again!

This one ends TOMORROW, y'all!

Giveaway: Poetry of a Hobo Mama Parenting Poetry — $12 ARV — 2 WINNERS! {5.14; Worldwide} at Anktangle & Natural Parents Network

Touching review from Amy:

This is a beautiful, funny, truth-filled collection that I believe would resonate with any mother. The focus on Lauren’s experiences as an attachment-focused parent gives it a unique perspective which any parent on the natural parenting spectrum could appreciate. But it’s not just for the “crunchy” mama in your life; it’s truly about the human experience: about life and love, about laughter and loss. It’s about the joyfully heart-wrenching reality of loving someone as deeply and fully as a parent loves her child.

I love hearing Amy's words and connection, and she shares one of my favorite poems in the post.

Read more and enter to win one of two copies at NPN or at Anktangle.

And remember — I am not above accepting pity entries. You're good sports. Seriously, Amy will be despondent if no one enters on her page. I'm exaggerating. She's very sensible. But you should still go enter.

Thanks much.

Carnival news:

• May Carnival of Natural Parenting — There are a lot of really great extended families out there! And wishes for good ones, as well. I found this a very inspiring carnival when it came to thinking about how to craft my own closeness to extended family, so I encourage you to check out any links you haven't already. (Hobo Mama & Code Name: Mama)
• Carnival of Weaning — due May 14 (Code Name: Mama & Aha! Parenting)
• Preparing for Birth Series — April 30-July 8 — see the post for details (A Little Bit of All of It)
• Authentic Parenting Carnival — due May 18 — Parenting Practices and Criticism (Authentic Parenting & Positive Parenting Connection)
• Carnival of Tandem Nursing — due May 22 (Mommying My Way) — and check out my (our) picture!

Does anyone have any to add? I know there's a Mom Enough carnival coming up shortly, so stay tuned.

From Natural Parents Network:

• Dealing With Unsupportive Grandparents
• Dinner: A Celebration of Family
• United Family
• Complete Nutrition when Starting Solids
• Wordless Wednesday: Spring

Giveaways:

Big smiles and homeopathic teething treatment from Baby Orajel Naturals — $100 Target Gift Card from BlogHer {5.31; US}
A review of a new homeopathic teething solution and a chance to win $100 to Target just by answering a simple question!

• Giveaway: Making Mama’s Milk Lactation Cookies (Month’s Supply & Tote) – $65 ARV {5.26; Worldwide}
• Giveaway: Intensive Repair Oil From Avishi Organics — $39 ARV {5.19; US}
• Giveaway: Poetry of a Hobo Mama Parenting Poetry — $12 ARV — 2 WINNERS! {5.14; Worldwide} — this ends SUPER SOON!
• Giveaway: Itti Bitti Tutto One Size Diaper From Kissed by the Moon – $26.95 ARV {5.14; US/Can} — so does this!

Find more giveaways at my Natural parenting giveaways linky! Add your own, and enter some good ones.

Win me. Win me.

Surf with us:

We love following along with fellow Sunday Surfers. If you have your own post of reading links to share, please link up your post on Hobo Mama or on Authentic Parenting. The linky will go live every Sunday, and you can link up any day that week. If Sunday doesn't work for you but you do a links list another day, feel free to play along. You only need to add your post to one of the sites, and the linky will automatically show up on both sites.

You can get the Sunday Surf button by Jenna Designs and some code to add to your post from my Sunday Surf page.

Check out previous editions for good reading, and you can find more shared items during the week at my Tumblr blog, Hobo Mama's Shared Items.