Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let's Talk About Food

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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It's one thing when you have pathetic eating habits. It's another when you see your child copying you.

I have not been, by any stretch, a health guru when it comes to eating wholesome foods. Oh, sure, I have ideas. And I have expectations for how I ideally should eat. And I'm better now than I was in the past. But, much like changing my schedule to get up earlier in the morning, I can keep up a good-for-me switch for only so long before I tilt back toward normal. And dietarily, "normal" for me is kind of bleak.

But, as I say, it's one thing to find no ambition to change one own's way of eating. It's another when you see your three-year-old following in your footsteps. Eep.

So here are some of the ways we have tried to change our family's eating habits to improve our own and our toddler's health, both now and into the future. You might wish to try them as well. Some of these tactics have been colossal failures, some unalloyed successes, and many a mix somewhere between. So besides being a collection of possible techniques, they're also sort of mini-reviews for whether I can recommend them as likely to be effective. Your mileage may vary, depending on your level of self-discipline and self-motivating guilt. Good luck!

Feed your mind

I can heartily recommend doing some eye-opening research by watching, for instance, Food, Inc.; The Corporation; King Corn; Super Size Me — or, if you're more of a book person, reading through In Defense of Food; The Omnivore's Dilemma; Nutrition and Physical Degeneration; Nourishing Traditions; Animal, Vegetable, Miracle (recommended most recently by Kat of Loving {Almost} Every Moment); or Fast Food Nation. I watched all those movies and read one of those books (hint: the shortest one) and skimmed some of the others. (What?) You can also do scads of research online, looking into forums and sites dedicated to whole foods, traditional foods, slow foods, raw foods, vegan foods — there are a lot of things to be learned, is what I'm saying.

Now, as revolutionary as all this learning has been in my mind, I haven't completely altered my lifestyle to fit what I've learned. I still all too often fall into the Standard American Diet, which clever foodie types have given the telling acronym SAD. But these resources have encouraged me to take some first steps, understand more of the issues behind the food I eat, and try out things I would before have not known or cared about. So, while I didn't convert radically based on my research as I hear some do, I still see many positive and gradual changes that have come about through the accumulation of knowledge.

Try baby steps

Some of those changes that my research has inspired me to make have been in the form of finite, manageable changes. Instead of chucking it all and moving to a farm (though that's always a possibility), I've found ways I can incorporate my new beliefs into my shopping list.

One of the easiest changes you could make would be to switch all your dairy to whole dairy. (This assumes you eat dairy products, which of course is not essential. But I love me some cheese.) Our culture's recent misapprehension of fat as bad has led to some very odd resulting items that Michael Pollan would term "food-like products." Dairy with the fat removed is one of them. Try some whole milk; you'll be pleasantly surprised how milky it tastes. Go ahead and get the real cream cheese. If you want to take it a step further, try organic, and a step further from that, try raw.

Just remember, fat is not bad, and dairy is supposed to be fatty. Children especially need fat. Breastmilk is very fatty, even more so than cow's milk, because children need fat for their brain development. This is why I can't fathom why so many children's dairy products are the low-fat variety. We've found one brand of organic yogurt that's full fat (and full yum) — YoBaby from Stonyfield (and, no, I'm not being paid to endorse it) — and it's pleasantly available in pretty much every U.S. grocery store.

Other concrete changes to make are cooking with good oils, such as olive and coconut and butter (yes, butter!), and buying free-range eggs, organic thin-skinned produce, and grass-fed meat.

But I realize that buying such nice things can be a step up in price, which leads to my next point.

Be willing to pay more

I have been poor. I know that sometimes for some people, and all the time for other people, compromises must be made. It kind of stinks that that's how the system works — that, for instance, fresh veggies are pricier than white-flour crackers, in terms of caloric return, and that organic food is steeper in price still. There are ways to cut down the amount of spending you do on quality foods, and some of the other carnival entries deal with that specifically.

But I think, for me, the biggest roadblock I have had in spending more for organic, local, and whole foods was that my frugality was so deep-seated. If I could buy a conventional apple for half as much as an organic one, for instance, why on earth would I spring for the organic? It took a lot of soul-searching, and specifically, reading the reasoning and call to action in In Defense of Food to break free of that mindset and to recognize: Food is worth it. It is worth paying more for something that will nourish my body, honor the earth, and, more germane to this conversation, help sustain my child's health. I don't want to put things into him that will harm him, which is why I was so careful during pregnancy not to use harsh chemicals or be around people who smoke — it's still worth it now to protect him during this vulnerable growth stage.

Paying more for food is like voting with my money for the kinds of food I want more readily available. Since I can afford it now, I have a sort of ethical obligation to buy the food I support from the vendors I support. I can think of the extra almost as a charitable donation to the organizations and individuals who are trying to bring back real food.

Again, if you cannot afford an upgrade in your food budget, I understand. If you're on the fence, you might look for other places you could cut back, or see what you can find within your budget.

Get food delivered

If you can't convince yourself to go out and buy a wide range of vegetables and fruits — if you're never adventurous when browsing the bins at the grocery store — then a produce delivery might be perfect to convince you to try new treats. It was when Sam and I participated in an every-other-week CSA (community supported agriculture) box delivery that we first learned what kohlrabi was and were introduced to the delights of garlic scapes. We also ate many more salads than we otherwise would have.

Another option is something like Spud, an urban, West Coast, organic grocery delivery service. Seattle's also fortunate to have home milk delivery services still (as well as a cloth diaper service). I know these conveniences might not be available where you live, but it's worth looking to see. If there isn't a CSA yet, for instance, your area might be the perfect place to band together and start one.

The upside of having a regular delivery of wholesome food is that it encourages you to stay home and eat it, and it's easier shopping if you have young kids. The downside is that it costs more (Spud, for instance, charges more for almost everything we could get at our local PCC natural foods store, so you're paying an upcharge not just for organic but also for the convenience of home delivery); therefore, if you don't use it, you'll feel doubly guilty. I speak from experience here.

Grow your own

Mikko helps harvest the cherry tomatoes from our patio garden,
back when he had more chins than I could keep track of.

Growing and raising your own food is ideal in many respects:

• You know exactly what went into the food and therefore can vouch for the quality.
• It's something you can do as a family (or with multiple families) and with young children.
• It's possible to be very frugal, although a warning: It's also possible to spend so much in your gardening giddiness you hope each tomato is worth its weight in gold [raises hand].
• You can be as adventurous or tame as you wish. I recommend growing a lot of foods you know you like, and a few that you want to like. Then search out recipes to use them all!
• You can put aside food for the non-growing season, by learning how to can, pickle, or freeze, giving you wholesome food year-round and once again saving you money.

You can also raise your own chickens for eggs, various animals for meat, and goats and cows for dairy, given enough land.

Which leads to the downside of raising your own food: You need somewhere to do it. If you don't have land, there are a few gardening options, however. I wrote before about my sorrow at losing our tiny concrete patio when we moved to this condo, and gave my readers and myself some ideas for making do. Suggestion #4 in that article worked for me, and Mamamilkers invited me over to garden with her family. There are also community garden plots and container gardens, some of which can be grown on a balcony or indoors. Even if you just grow a couple herbs in a windowbox, it's all a contribution to your table, and a rewarding activity in itself. You'll probably find your kids are pretty excited about choosing what seeds to plant and helping you water, too.

Quit cold turkey

Not in the far distant past, we used to eat fast food a lot. A lot. Sam's too embarrassed for me to tell you how often. I know this admission will send some of you running from my blog, screaming in horror.

But you know? If you've watched Super Size Me, you'll note that fast food doesn't taste as bad as it is. It's actually quite yummy. It's filling; it's cheap; it's plentiful; it's convenient; the restaurants welcome (heck, cater to!) children; you can hang out in one for hours to amuse a kiddo. It's all those things that make Americans like me like it.

But! We knew it was bad for our little guy. When he points at an Arby's logo and says, "Food!" you know it's time to change. So, a year or so later [snicker, shrug], we decided to quit cold turkey. We made a rule and a comparison; we heard some people on PhD in Parenting's "McDelimma" post comparing fast food to gas station food and saying, quite simply, they just don't consider it food. Sam and I took this in. It was true — even though gas stations are just as conveniently located, we never did consider stopping at one for a meal. It simply wasn't up to our standard for what is worth paying money for. So we decided: If it has a drive-thru, we're not eating there anymore.

And we haven't.

I have no idea why this worked, but feel free to try something similar around your own bad food habits and see.

Buy a (literally) cool water bottle

I hate drinking water, but we're trying to kick a mean soda habit. This is one aspect where quitting cold turkey hasn't worked for us, so we're trying a more gradual approach. I prefer diet colas above all else, but that means — Mikko does, too. Yipes! The artificial sweeteners, the phosphoric acid — I don't want that in him. And I know all the other reasons soda's not so great, too, so I need to find ways to make drinking plain tap water more palatable to me, the better to model healthy hydration habits for Mikko.

I have found that buying the right water bottle is an incentive. Because if there's anything worse than drinking water, it's drinking water that's lukewarm or, worst of all, near-boiling from sitting in a car in the hot sun.

I knew I wanted to switch to stainless steel because of all the health scares related to plastics. I tried out a variety of different options, and I have come to prefer the insulated stainless steel version from CamelBak. The only downside is the insulation means the capacity isn't very large, but it sees me through shorter outings and my dance class.

If you have the money to splurge (or can find a good deal secondhand), for you it might be a different item that inspires you to eat better. It might be a juice maker or a sprouting set-up or fancy new cloth napkins to lure you over to a sit-down family dinner.

Shop the source

When the freshest food is in season, farmer's markets and fruit stands are a friendly and easy way to take advantage of the local harvests. Not all local farmers will be certified organic, but you can often talk with them and find out what their philosophy of farming is.

You can also go straight to the farms themselves and buy food there. In this way, you can take advantage of bulk deals, such as splitting a whole steer's worth of meat with another family if you both have a deep freeze, or participating in family-fun activities like pick-your-own berries.

Eat out locally

If you have the money and the inclination for it, there are so many great local options for restaurants, both fast and slow. You can get to know the proprietors and be treated like family, and you'll know you're giving back to the community by supporting them. You can purposely choose your restaurant based on how well it adheres to your whole-foods, real-foods ethic. I know once we stopped worrying so much about the wrong-headed rules of modern nutritionist culture and relearned an appreciation for fat, salt, spice, and taste, we were delighted with what we could find in our neighborhood.

The downsides of local restaurants is they're addictive (so many good ones!) and sometimes pricey. Some are more welcoming of children than others, though we've had good experiences overall. You'll want to figure out how eating out fits into your budget and lifestyle.

Avoid temptation

I cannot go to our conventional grocery store and be reasonable, so I am not allowed there anymore. I cannot coolly pass by all the delicious items that are so very bad for me but so very yummy going down. They scream to me: "I am so very tasty! And so very cheap! Look! Look! Buy me!"

So I now have Sam shop there, when necessary, and the rest of the time I do my shopping online, at PCC, or at farmer's markets. I still splurge, but then it's a splurge on something like vegan chocolate-esque brownies or artisan cheese curds, and it's not such a big deal.

I'm not saying you all have willing servants to do your shopping for you, but perhaps you, too, could rule some stores out of your routine. If you don't buy it, you can't eat it.

Make cooking an adventure

If you don't cook, you might find it fun to learn. If you cook but are bored, you might find it fun to shake things up a bit. Many community colleges have adult-education courses in specific types of cooking (such as Thai cuisine or breadmaking). Sites like Cooking Traditional Foods and many, many blogs and cookbooks have recipes and tips that will take you step by step through preparing tasty and nutritious meals. Investing in a slow cooker will help you take advantage of wholesome foods like dry bulk beans and rice, which have the side advantage of being super cheap.

You can make cooking easier on yourself by cooking only one main meal a day (if that) and letting the rest of your meals be more like snacks or eating up leftovers. Sandra Dodd's Monkey Platter idea is a perfect way to set out a variety of healthful options in bite-size, finger-friendly portions that all of you can graze on throughout the day. For us, it's helped, too, not to assign foods to particular mealtimes. For instance, you're allowed to eat "breakfast" foods for dinner, and vice versa.

Interest your kids in cooking by inviting them into the kitchen and bringing the preparation down to their level.

Hate yourself

You could try beating yourself up for your failings as a parent and homemaker. You could cower in guilt and shame from the research that tells you you've been doing everything wrong and are ruining your children's health. You could let the conflicting recommendations overwhelm you into paralysis. You could blame yourself for all the ways in which you weigh more than you think you should, or eat more than you think you should, and despair of ever changing. You could shy away from admitting (in a blog post! in a carnival!) that you have eaten and liked fast food for fear of being torn to shreds. You could compare yourself to everyone else who has it all so much more together than you. But you know?

Hating yourself never works. Trust me.

Just make the changes you can, and give yourself some grace on the changes you can't make yet. Eating well doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing approach. Every baby step counts.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated July 13 with all the carnival links.)

• Welcome to Two — All About Food — In case you hadn't heard, there is a conspiracy afoot from the two-year-olds of the world. Shana at Tales of Minor Interest stumbled onto their newsletter!
• Four Seasons of Eating Locally — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has pointers for what fresh produce can be found year-round. (@MBJunction)
• Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has figured out a way for her family to live happily as vegans and vegetarians with relatives who eat meat. (@DebChitwood)
• My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante prioritizes responsible consumer choices for her family.
• No Gluten — No Cry — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned to cook balanced meals when her son's food sensitivities prompted a diet overhaul. (@kitchenwitch)
• Try, Try Again — Stefanie at very very fine has become an enthusiastic consumer of locally grown food.
• CSA — Week 1 — Casey at What Love Is wants her children to know where their food comes from, so she joined a friendly CSA. (@CBerbs)
• Food: Parenting or Homemaking? — Michelle at The Parent Vortex sees food as part of a parent's nurturing role. (@TheParentVortex)
• 5 Tips to Help Kids Develop Healthy Eating Habits — If you struggle with healthy eating, helping your child develop healthy habits might be a challenge. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips that will help your kids learn to make good food choices. (@CodeNameMama)
• Family Food: Seeking Balance Between Healthy, Sustainable & Affordable — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings has a whole list of ideas for how she can improve her family's eating, both now and into the future. (@sunfrog)
• Whole Foods in, Wholesome Feelings Out — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has turned her back on the processed, preservative-ridden food of her childhood. (@tisworthwhile)
• When to Splurge on Organic (and When It Is Okay to Skip It) — Becoming Mamas tell you what foods to prioritize when buying pricier organic food, and where you can find it cheaper. (@becomingmamas)
• A Locavore's Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.
• Eat Your Food, or Else — Why should we not bribe a child to eat? TwinToddlersDad from Littlestomaks (Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition) explains. (@TwinToddlersDad)
• Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her family has started eating healthier. (@diaryfirstchild)
• Celebrating Food — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes in food as medicine and thinks it's worth paying more to keep healthy. (@myzerowaste)
• Oil and Yogurt — What have you been motivated to do with the current oil spill crisis? midnightfeedings has started making her own yogurt. (@midnightfeeding)
• Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA "Beannut Stew") — BeanMa has a special stew to help her baby through growth spurts that keep her up all night. (@thebeanma)

• Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the "real food" philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)
• Feeding a Family of Six — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children gives helpful tips for feeding a family of six.
• Starting Solids at 6 Months — Did your doctor recommend that you give your baby cereal? Sheryl at Little Snowflakes discusses how whole foods are so much healthier (and more delicious) than traditional cereal. (@sheryljesin)
• Am I What I Eat? — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has figured out a way to avoid grocery stores nearly altogether.
• Are We Setting Our Kids Up To Fail? — Megan at Purple Dancing Dahlias found that cutting out the junk also transformed her sons' behavior problems.
• Changing your family's way of eating — Lauren at Hobo Mama has techniques you can try to move your family gradually toward a healthier diet. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Real Food — What kinds of fake foods do you eat? And why?! Lisa C. at My World Edenwild talks about why she chooses real food.
• A Snackaholic’s Food Battle — Julie at Simple Life wants to stop snacking and get into the old ways of cooking from scratch and raising her own food. (@homemakerjulie)
• Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn't want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm)
• How Do You Eat When You Are out of Town? — Cassie at There's a Pickle In My Life wants some tips on how to eat healthy when you are out of town.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Food! — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker hopes that by serving her children healthy, balanced meals, they will become accustomed to making good food choices. (@sybilryan)
• There's No Food Like Home's — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing revels in the Bajan food of her upbringing. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
• This Mom's Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.
• Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)
• Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family's medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.
• Food Mindfulness — Danielle at born.in.japan details how her family spends money on each category of food. (@borninjp)
• Food for Little People — Zoey at Good Goog wants to bless her daughter with happy traditions built around good food. (@zoeyspeak)
• Eat Like a Baby — Have you been told that you should not equate food with love? Kate Wicker at Momopoly shows us why that's not necessarily true. (@Momopoly)
• Food — Deb at Science@Home tries to teach her children three rules to help them eat a healthy diet. (@ScienceMum)
• Healthy Living Lactose Free — MamanADroit gives us tips on how to eat healthy if you are lactose intolerant (or just don’t want cow milk). (@MamanADroit)