Julia is hosting a series of guest posts — some named and some anonymous — in honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It's such an important and meaningful thing to share these stories with each other, for corporate healing and the hope of reaching others who need to know we understand their grief and longing.
My first pregnancy ended in a loss at 10 weeks gestation. I chose to miscarry naturally, a process that took five long months and a great leap in trusting my body. I felt the pain, bleeding, and labor at home was a fitting end to my small baby's life. This is my story.
At ten weeks, my husband, Sam, and I went on a short, last-time-before-babies trip to London. On the plane ride back, the spotting started up again, this time with cramps.
We had a cat-sitting business, so we had to jump right back into work when we returned, visiting people’s houses to care for their pets. I kept sitting down while Sam performed the tasks. I felt awful, like a terrible period was coming, and the anxiety was even worse.
Just before we left our last house for the day, I went to the bathroom, and there it was: bright red blood, copious amounts. I began weeping in the car. I knew what this meant.
Read more »