Welcome to the Sunday Surf! Here are some of the best links I've read this past week.

I just spent some hours trying to reconstruct the links I was going to share with you, because once again my browser has crashed repeatedly and taken my saved links with it. I really should become more conscientious about sharing them in my public reader feed before that happens, huh?¹ The good news is, I got to read some more as I was poking around in my history and Google Reader.

The other good news is, Sam has now felt the baby move! That gives me such a kick (so to speak). Now I just have to wait till it's consistent and strong enough to bring Mikko into the experience. There's no way he'd keep his hand on my belly for five minutes the way Sam was persuaded to!

For months after Mikko was born, I'd feel funny twinges in my belly — from muscle spasms or gas or food digesting or whatever it was – and I'd think, "Oh, it's the baby!" And then I'd remind myself, "No, stupid, the baby's on your lap. That's a fart." And I swear, I now have to keep reminding myself, "No, it is a baby now."² How surreal to have an entire person inside me, frog-kicking away.

• "The Power of 10" from Code Name: Mama: An insightful viewpoint on discipline — putting into perspective how fleeting your child's behavior is, and how lasting your responses can be.
  

  "For anyone still on the fence about giving yourself a chance to calm down before you come back to your child (after your child has done something you believe is inappropriate, etc.), consider this:
  
  Will your child’s behavior matter in 10 seconds? 10 minutes? 10 hours? Will it matter in 10 days, weeks, months, or years?
  
  How about your response – how will the punishment you choose affect your child in 10 seconds? 10 minutes? 10 hours? How will the way you choose to punish your child matter in 10 days, weeks, months, or years?"

• "Unschooling is How Adults Naturally Learn": So glad to have a guest post featured on The Mahogany Way! It's about how my adult way of learning is similar to how unschooling can look, philosophically. I'm someone who's very interested in unschooling but a little worried about pulling it off, so writing posts like this helps me understand how familiar self-directed learning is to me already. I hope it helps you as well (or your concerned/dubious loved ones) if you need a way to relate unschooling to everyday life. (Because, you know, it is everyday life.) I'm chiming in on the comments over there (much more diligently than I do here, heh), so please do click over and let me know what you think! And enjoy Darcel's fantabulous blog while you're at it, where you can see day-to-day unschooling in action.
            Speaking of guest posting, I have a really interesting guest post (hint: car-free!) coming up here on Hobo Mama tomorrow from Minimalist Mom, so come on back, enjoy and be enlightened, and show our new guest some comment love!
            Want to guest post or want me to guest post? Let me know.

• From Natural Parents Network:
  
  • "Five Ways to Prepare for Natural Birth in a Hospital": Advice on how to have a gentle birth in a medical setting, written by Melissa from The New Mommy Files. I did not have an ideal hospital birthing experience, so I sincerely hope I don't need to put this article into practice, but what stood out to me most was how intentional Melissa was about thinking out her hospital-based birth plan in advance and preparing the medical staff and her support team for what she wanted. And then she followed through and persisted in bringing her own wishes into fruition. If a hospital birth is (or might be) in your future and you'd like to read about some other positive hospital birth stories, check out the responses on the Hobo Mama Facebook page.
  • "Say Hello to My (Not So Little) Friends": On public breastfeeding when the "public" is your unsupportive family, written by Jenn from Connected Mom.
  • "Hinduism: My Stepping Stone To Natural Parenting": On how Hinduism has shaped her parenting, written by Arpita from Up, Down & Natural. I'm really digging this new series of posts on NPN from bloggers of faith (or no faith), who share how belief intersects with their parenting. If you'd like to participate, email Dionna {at} NaturalParentsNetwork {dot} com.
  • And Jessika at Job Description: Mommy has once more updated our NPN blogroll — enjoy visiting some of the wonderful natural parenting blogs that have linked up, and fill out our form if you want to be included.

• "'What if…?' On prenatal precautions and superstitions, and the burden of blame" from Raising My Boychick: This came at a relevant time for me. I've been swimming again, and I enjoy relaxing in the hot tub to warm up a little before and after. I was reading the sign that cautioned pregnant women to consult their healthcare provider before using the spa and wondered how much of a rebel that made me. The thing is, I use it totally moderately, for what that's worth. I don't use it in the first trimester, when the developing baby might be most susceptible to heat damage, for lack of a better term there; the hot tub's not really all that hot (just a bit above average human temperature); and I stay in for about 5 minutes at a time, getting up to sit on the edge with just my legs in if I start feeling warm. Mikko's my little unscientific, anecdotal testimonial to the fact that you can have a healthy baby after using a hot tub during pregnancy. This pregnancy, I'm going even more daring by eating soft cheese. Only, not daring at all, because they're all pasteurized in the U.S. I've also scooped litter boxes. Don't tell. Arwyn brings up the discerning point that women are pushed into "behaving" during pregnancy not just because of actual risk but because of the fear, if anything does go wrong, that the mother will be blamed — either by herself, or by the world at large. Like a woman I once read about who had a miscarriage, and her coworker told her it was because she ate a Peppermint Pattie at lunch every day — because everyone knows that peppermint can cause miscarriage. Um…thanks, pal.
Horribly irresponsible woman laboring in a hot tub. The nerve of some pregnant women to be comfortable!
Photo by Christy Scherrer.

• "California Sloppy Joe and Sprite Tea" from Musing Mommy: This is looking so good to me, you can't even know.

• "Compassion for Tantrums" from My World Edenwild: A beautiful post that helped me gain some perspective on emotional outbursts — both my own and my child's (and others'). Lisa points out how we often don't choose to become angry, or enjoy it sweeping through us, and how it's a process learning to harness such strong emotions — one we have no right to expect our children to have mastered yet, considering that we haven't, either.

• "Today, I left him at daycare" from This is Worthwhile: A short (if you're feeling overwhelmed by the links — see, I'm looking out for you!) and heart-breaking account of leaving a child at preschool for the first time. We're still having issues with preschool and Mikko, and today we went to a new church
  
  The trusting Mikko on his first day of preschool, just before we first started breaking his heart by abandoning him. Oh!
  and tried to drop him in the nursery, with much protestation. There was a first attempt to put him there, followed by a very loud ten minutes in the very quiet service (his idea of being quiet was to thumb through the hymnals, making up his own songs as he went), and then fifteen minutes with Sam in the nursery playing alongside him, followed by his alone time. It was the sweetest people working there, and when we got back, Mikko was happily engrossed in driving a train through a "train wash" (aka, a volunteer's hands set on the floor like a tunnel), and she told us how they'd also just read a book about jumping in puddles. Ah, but Mikko proceeded to lecture us all the way back to the car on how rotten a time he'd had and how we were never to go to church again — too boring upstairs, too lonely downstairs. Oh, the layers of guilt! And yet, and yet — he's fine. We're fine. But it's hard, every time. (P.S. Hawk was fine, too.)

Playsilk in action.
Photo by Deer Dominique.
• "Playsilks" from born.in.japan and "Our good day…" from Ella-Bean & Co.: I've been coveting playsilks but quailing at the cost. Simple idea to buy the plain silks and dye your own with Kool-Aid! They used the tutorial at Raising Olives and bought inexpensive plain silk scarves from Dharma Trading Co. Love this idea!

• "Drop-side Cribs, Penises, and Vaccines" from Baby Dust Diaries: This is from last month, but I'm slow (wait for footnote 3 to hear more on this issue). Really, really interesting comparison of risk factors and a musing on why certain things are banned when other things are not. I like this article she linked to from The Stir — "Infant Car Seats Should Be Banned, Not Drop-Side Cribs" — because I've made no secret that I think those things are obnoxious. (Not the people who use them, just the implications of their widespread use — the safety issues with toppling and breathing obstruction, the lack of human handling that babies get if they're left in them for long periods, the health effects on parents' shoulders and backs from lugging the things, and the push to turn kids forward facing when they've outgrown the infant seat but could still have continued rear facing in a convertible car seat. See, I have my reasons.)

• The January Carnival of Natural Parenting was a thing of beauty. We had over 40 bloggers come out to share the inspiring ways they learn from their children! Check out a few of the links for some heartwarming, occasionally tearjerking stories.

• From there, I share "My Kids Have Taught Me That It’s Time To Stop Blogging" from Breastfeeding Moms Unite!: In some ways this floored me, and in some ways it resonated with me in a way I need to think about further. Take today: We got back from church early this afternoon, and it's now after 10:30 p.m., and this is all I've done today.³ Is that right? Is that balanced?
            I also loved Melodie's "Thank You Card," and not just because she said incredibly nice things about me. I liked reading about all the other blogs that have meant a lot to her, too — I've found some new ones to follow! We'll miss you and your voice, Melodie, and we hope you guest post (like, you know, here!), but I totally can understand where you're coming from. Many blessings and happiness to you and your family while your little ones are still little!

• Some new tutorials are up at LaurenWayne.com:
  
  • "Choosing who can comment in Blogger: Allowing the option of name and URL": Help guiding you through the admittedly confusing Blogger settings for comment permissions, so that you can choose the option that's best for your blog.
    

    "Choosing what permissions to grant commenters (from requiring registration to allowing anonymous commenters) can affect how easy it is for people to comment — and, therefore, how likely readers will be to convert to commenters. Specifically, you might receive more comments if you allow commenters to type in their own name and URL or comment anonymously, because it can be appealing for certain commenters.
    
    Everything has its pros and cons, of course…"

  
  • "Setting up thumbnail linkies & choosing the right dimensions": On how to properly set up LinkyTools thumbnail linkies for giveaways or Wordless Wednesday and the like in a way that will make it easy for the linker-uppers.

• Some lovely giveaways for you to enter:
  
  
  • 11x14 Premium Photo Calendar from Picaboo $29.99 {1.25; International} at Hobo Mama Reviews: One lucky winner will receive a coupon for a free 12-page, glossy, 11x14-inch premium photo calendar from Picaboo.
  • Playful Parenting (Paperback or CD) $19 {1.29; US/Can} at Natural Parents Network: Win the paperback or CD of Dr. Larry Cohen's #1 parenting book. This is a phenomenal book to get you down on the floor, communicating with your children in their most natural way — play! Playfully parenting can help ease discipline issues, smooth sibling rivalry, and foster trusting connections between parents and children. The book gives you specific ideas to put play to work for you and your kids.
  • Smart Mom Teething Bling from Posh Baby Boutique $19.99 {2.3, US/Can} at Natural Parents Network: Functional and stylish necklace perfect for teething babies to gnaw on or to help nursing babies focus their wandering hands and attention spans. (NB: The necklace goes on the parent, not the kid; I just had an eager model.) Sponsored by the lovely Posh Baby Boutique.

• Also keep in mind that I've put up some new coupon alerts at Hobo Mama Reviews, with more to come:
  
  • "40% off winter clearance at Umi Shoes!": Get a remarkable discount on some remarkable handmade shoes.
  • And there's an exciting one coming up tomorrow, but I'm not allowed to spill the beans early…check back!
  • "50% off at Amy Adele for thank-you cards EXTENDED!": Through tomorrow! And then a Valentine's sale begins.

You can find more shared items during the week at my public Google Reader recommendations feed.

Check out Authentic Parenting, Baby Dust Diaries (on hiatus), Maman A Droit, Navelgazing, Momma Jorje, pocket.buddha, Breastfeeding Moms Unite!, Enjoy Birth, A Domesticated Woman's Adventures, This Adventure Life, The Parent Vortex, and A Little Bit of All of It for more Sunday Surfing! (If you also participate in a regular link list, whether on Sunday or not, let me know and I'll add your link.)

Feel free to add your recommendations in the comments. Happy reading!

---

1 Incidentally, I don't often share something in my public feed that I then don't feature in a Sunday Surf, so I wanted to mention that some of the links in my feed are slated to make appearances in future articles on similar themes, so I won't be featuring them today. Could you be even more surprised that this list does not include something?^↩
2 It's possible it's sometimes still a fart.^↩
3 It's not all I've done, but it's the bulk, without any extensive breaks; I don't know how to explain my working process to anyone. I've also played rockets with Mikko, got into discussions on why people might have no legs or a plane might need to land on the water (I really shouldn't bother trying to watch TLC documentaries while he's around), defined "mechanic" and "arbitrary" for him, ate a supper that Sam prepared, entered a giveaway at the last minute I had forgotten was ending (got it in! whew!), looked up the lyrics to "Pie Jesu," read and commented on other blog posts as I searched for these ones, and so forth. But it's a far cry from my optimistic expectations that I'd bang this out in a couple hours and then enjoy a blogging-free rest of the day. I work so slowly. I don't think I could cut back on the amount of emails I write or comments I respond to, since I do the bare minimum as it is (if that), so is it a question of finding somewhere else to step up the speed and phone it in? Or is it a question of subtracting even more duties, many of them self-imposed? Or is it possible to find balance only by walking away, as Melodie has chosen? See, much to ponder. Let me know if you have perspective on this blogging-while-parenting thing. ^↩