As our family fun time today, we're off to a corn maze and u-pick pumpkin patch. Come on, could anything be more family fun?
While I'm gone, you can get some reading done! I have so many links to share this week. Can you tell I've been catching up in my reader?
- A few from Raising My Boychick:
- "On the ubiquitous use of 'crazy'": Explanation of why the thoughtless use of "crazy" and its synonyms hurts.
- "Transcendence and terror: A morality play set in two scenes": On the parenting highs and lows within each of us, and on the middle ground.
- "10, No, 40 Things I Never Want to Hear or Read Again, Parenting Judgment Edition": Tired of hearing these against me, and tired of hearing myself think or say them against others.
- "Breastfeeding Friendly Does Not Equal Formula Antagonistic" from The Baby Dust Diaries: On the bad medicine and misogyny of shaming formula feeding mothers in the hospital.
- "BPA Exposure 'Much Higher' Than Believed & Proposed BPA Ban" from Crunchy Domestic Goddess: Troubling news on the amount of BPA we're still exposed to — and lawmakers' inability so far to get it banned. We've made the switch to mostly glass and stainless steel containers for leftovers and water, but what's still tripping me up are Mikko's attachment to certain sippy cups (he has seriously intense preferences for which one must be used at what time) and the convenience of canned goods. I think my goal from here forward is to keep introducing BPA-free options to Mikko to see if I can tempt him over to some cool kid's water bottle and also collect some recipes to replace the canned goods we use most often, such as chili and baked beans. I do know how to cook dried beans in the crock pot and freeze them, but not yet how to pre-flavor them in that way.
- "Please, yes, DO ask me about my child who just died" from mamapundit: I need this reminder, because I also flounder in whether to avoid or touch on painful subjects when people I know are hurting.
"I have never known exactly what to say to someone after their loved one dies. … Because losing one of my own children was so terrifying to me, I couldn’t figure out what to say to these parents who had had the Worst Thing Ever actually come to pass.
"I totally understand that people are afraid of hurting or upsetting me if they mention anything related to Henry’s death, and I in no way want to make anyone feel bad for NOT mentioning him (I’ve been there with being unsure of the protocol when dealing with a grieving parent, remember?). But I am here to tell you that only a few months past my child’s death, I absolutely want and need to still be asked on a fairly regular basis how I am doing and how the other kids are doing."
- "Babies & 'Meaningful Work': Why must they be separate?" from Blacktating: As a self-employed mama sharing work and parenting with Sam, I've thought about this a lot. On the one hand, it actually IS hard to work with a baby (and definitely a toddler) around. On the other hand, I wouldn't have Sam's and my current work/parenting arrangement any other way.
- "Chocolate Juice - Some Thoughts on Parenting" from Honest To Betsy: Love this combination of parental advice for dealing in a non-adversarial way with a toddler along with ruminations on adult privilege:
"If you've ever been immersed in another culture and another language, you know the cumulative stress of not quite understanding how everything should be done, of not getting all the social cues, of not being able to read the signs. You know what it feels like when the things people say whiz completely over your head and you miss every instruction that's not a smile and every joke that's not a fart.
"A toddler is so utterly dependent on his parents and caregivers. It really, really, really is stressful being a wee kid. No wonder they so frequently drink until they pass out."
- From Breastfeeding Moms Unite
- "Understanding Nutritionism And The Problem With Infant Formula": I had the same reaction when first encountering the term "nutritionism" of seeing how perfectly it dovetailed with the breastfeeding vs. formula question — our society has come to believe in nutrients divorced from food itself, and that scientists know better about what to eat than tradition and common sense and our own hunger.
- "An Emotional Day": Check out the birthing/breastfeeding dolls from MamAmor! I want. Wouldn't that be a great way to prepare Mikko for the birth of his sibling, and commemorate it after the fact?
- "How Would Panhandlers Use Free Credit Cards?" from Get Rich Slowly: As a follow-up to my post on creating bags for panhandlers and/or the homeless, I thought the experiment referenced here was an interesting real-life look at how panhandlers spend their collected money.
- Remember that the deadline for the October Carnival of Natural Parenting is this Tuesday, October 5.
For parents who practice attachment parenting, it can be tempting to center our lives around our children — but it's not healthy. This month we're going to talk about taking time for ourselves. Here are some possible topics for you to discuss: How do you take time for yourself? What passions do you pursue? How do you find the time and balance it with being a parent? And if you aren't taking time for yourself, what will you do to start? Think about how you feel when you do not get adequate time for yourself versus how you feel when you do.
- I have a stupendous giveaway up at Hobo Mama Reviews: 25 custom photo cards from Photo Card Creations. These chic, designer cards are worth about $62. Contest is open to U.S. addresses only. Enter by October 26. I hope to have some more giveaways up soon, including some for my lovely non-USians.
- I'll leave you with this poem by Mary Oliver, "When Death Comes," found at "the next phase..." from not a visitor:
When death comesThat lightness in the chest after I read this? That is why I love poetry.
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measles-pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
You can find more shared items during the week at my public Google Reader recommendations feed.
Check out Authentic Parenting, Baby Dust Diaries (on hiatus), Maman A Droit, Navelgazing, pocket.buddha, Enjoy Birth, A Domesticated Woman's Adventures, and This Adventure Life for more Sunday Surfing! (If you also participate, let me know and I'll add your link.)
Feel free to add your recommendations in the comments. Happy reading!