It is a strange state, indeed: neither pregnant, nor out of shape, but showing a visible history of pregnancy. In spite of weighing more and looking different, I was never healthier than when I was pregnant and just after, in large part to the dynamic shift in lifestyle toward eating well and moving more. But we don’t connect health to physical appeal per se, as any healthy person who isn’t thin can tell you. And when a body shows signs of use beyond the sexual or athletic, we don’t seem to know how to respond to it.

In fairness, it’s worth noting that all this is just as shocking to the woman it’s happening to. Pregnancy is an intense transformation, childbirth an even more intense act. The recovery time is complicated and multi-layered. And what we are left with is a body that has created a child and often nourished it for a period of time afterward too. It’s easy to be proud of the act, but we follow that nod with an intense effort toward eradicating all signs of it.

Fine and Fair: Body Image on the Playground: The Subtle Messages All Around →

So what do we do? What can we do? In a world where a Victoria’s Secret commercial asks, “What is Sexy?” and proceeds to answer its question with images of women who are all tall and thin with long legs and breasts that are somehow both large and perky, how do we teach our children that sexy is different things to different people, and that more importantly, sexy isn’t the only thing matters? Is it even possible to raise children, girls especially, who grow into adults who feel good about their bodies, even if they don’t fit the “ideal” image that is thrust in their face at every turn?