Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.
Some of my new dear friends,
Amy and
Arpita, relaxing in my home.
For much of my parenting journey,
I have felt alone. We didn't know a lot of parents when we had Mikko four and a half years ago, and the parents that we did meet felt so different from us in terms of values and goals. Our own families and former communities are far away, and frankly, it can be easier that way, since various relatives and old friends have disagreed with us on aspects large and small of our parenting choices, from home birth to elimination communication to homeschooling to treating children with respect.
It's been easier not to fight, but it's been lonely as well.
Blogging and being online among like-minded parents has been salvific. Knowing that there was a
large and vocal minority out there who believed in attachment parenting and the gentle raising of children has often given me the strength and courage to continue on my own path with confidence.
But there's something to be said for people who are involved in your life on a day-to-day, intimate, able-to-touch basis, not just through a computer screen and comments on your post, however much that may be treasured.
Lately I've been blessed to become
surrounded by people I can connect with. Some have still been online, but in more of a routine sort of fellowship, where the minutiae of life are shared. These are, among a few others, my
Natural Parents Network volunteer team, and I'm thrilled to be part of this group of thoughtful parents. I've also
met some of them in real life, and extended letters and packages back and forth with those who are geographically distant. I feel like the world is a smaller and cozier place now for knowing them.
Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the
best blogposts I've read throughout the week.
Are you doing anything special for Valentine's Day? I meant to send some Valentines to the grands yesterday and forgot, so I suspect we'll be video chatting with the in-laws to make up for it.
Ah, well, enough of my steamy Valentine's plans — on to some reading!
If you are a fellow blogger, we would like to invite you to join Laura from
Authentic Parenting and me to
join in a Sunday Surf of your own and sign up on our linky below. Read more at the
Sunday Surf page.
The Cassie Fox photo and poem is stopping my heart. How well do you accept and embrace how your body has changed due to pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, age, or other causes? How well do you see the good reasons for those changes?
A mama’s honest description of the physical and emotional process of stopping breastfeeding. This whole subject makes me sad to think about, even as I acknowledge it’s the normal and appreciated process of growing up and coming to me sooner rather than later.
Carnival news:
- Did you catch the Family Size Blog Carnival? Very interesting topic.
Getting used to having kids
Links to all the great posts are at the end.
- And here's a new and exciting one. Submit your honest stories by Feb. 18:
Find other carnivals at my
Natural Parenting Carnival Linky. And
please, please, please help me keep it updated by adding in carnivals OR memes (recipe linkups and the like) that you're hosting or entering! It would be
soooo helpful. Don't be worried that yours is too small — I want to promote everybody's special blog parties! Even if the carnival or meme is already represented but you want to update the information, enter it again and I'll go in and delete the old info. Thank you! I'd love to make it a helpful resource for all of us.
This week on Pinterest:
Welcome to the first Family Size Blog Carnival!
This post was written for inclusion in the Family Size Blog Carnival hosted by Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling and Patti at Jazzy Mama. Today our participants share their decisions on family size and whether or not to grow their families. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
When Sam and I married at 22, we said,
"Probably one kid, maybe two, in three to five years."
Honeymoon self-portrait
Three years passed in a flash. "Ha ha ha," we laughed at the notion of having kids yet,
"we're still newlyweds."
One of my favoritest pictures of us, in our usual habit of enjoying children's museums sans children. Clearly we were not mature enough to reproduce.
At five years, we were moving across country and starting new adventures.
"Not yet," we said, "too uprooted."
Moving crates.
At six years, we wanted to start, finally, but we were in financial turmoil, starting a new business, trying to keep our heads above water. We could consign ourselves to two meals of Ramen a day, but
did we really want to bring a child into this uncertain life?
So we tried out our niece instead.
At seven years, we felt confident enough to try anyway.
And we failed. I met my thirtieth birthday
still bleeding from the miscarriage, uncertain when expanding our family would truly begin.
I call this my album cover photo.
The next year we had Mikko, and
he blew our world apart. Thank goodness for attachment parenting, because it made us feel reassured when the only thing we could do to keep him relatively calm during those early months was to hold him, nurse, and bounce bounce bounce — constantly.
Surprised they're letting us leave the hospital without a parenting license.
Even as he grew out of his earliest grumpiness, Sam and I were exhausted and worn — exhilarated, in love, yes, but also feeling that our lives had been decimated. Our plans of "probably one, maybe two" children
veered sharply toward "one."
There's no crying in baseball.
We tried to keep in touch with friends, but they seemed busy with other things. We tried to meet some fellow parents, but they were distant. Our families were nowhere near. We felt
alone and overwhelmed, wondering frequently
how anyone raises a child, ever, in this
cold Western world. We had to
begin working again at our home business soon after Mikko's birth, and we tried to add back in some of our former hobbies and passions as well as add some new ones (this blog, for one!). It was hard just to survive, let alone imagine adding another person to our family.
In fact, for the first couple years of Mikko's life, whenever I saw a newborn,
my initial reaction was to shudder. I kid you not.
So the babies and younger toddlers don't feel left out after I gave
my book recommendations for older toddlers and preschoolers, here's what I'm reading to baby Alrik right now:
Nina Laden (Author)
This is a fun board book with cut-out holes that takes you on a rhyming guessing game. As you can see from the cover, the usual "Peek-a-boo" is substituted first by "Peek-a-who/hoo" for an owl peeking through. As you turn each page, you discover another rhyme and another surprise popping through the cut-out, such as Peek-a-Zoo, Peek-a-Choo Choo. I have to say, Mikko adores this book even more than Alrik at this point. I like how the cut-outs give little ones something tactile to handle as you read, and the very last page, Peek-a-YOU, is a mirror, which always brings a smile.
Liza Baker (Author)
This is a heartwarming board book that spells out unconditional parental love. We got this book for Christmas from my mom, and it made me feel all squishy inside to imagine that she was reading it to me while I was reading it to my kids. The text follows a fox mama and cub throughout all the many moods of the young one, reiterating each time, "I love you when you're [adjective]," such as:
I love you when you're bashful and hide behind my knee.
I love you when you're brave and from my arms you flee.
No matter what the pup does (even if he's tangling her knitting or being wild or silly or angry), the same text resounds: "I love you." Ok, I'm seriously tearing up while writing this.
The rhyming can be a little clunky at times (the above quote is a good example, with the inverted "from my arms you flee" to make the rhyme), but Mikko doesn't notice, and Alrik certainly doesn't.
I also like that this type of board book has the softer, squishy (but still paper) cover, which again gives little kids something tactile to enjoy and won't be as abrasive against their mouths if they gum the book. I'm not sure if that's the same kind at Amazon (I imagine so) and the library (possibly not), but if you check it out in a bookstore, you'll see what I mean. It's kind of padded.
I'm Lauren Wayne, writer and natural parent. I embrace attached parenting with an emphasis toward green living. 
