Friday, April 24, 2015

Life with a big baby

Hobo Mama wants you to know she's a professional blogger! Look at how professional she's being!

Any other parents of mondo babies out there? Or parents of munchkins who want to live vicariously? Here's what it's like to have a baby beating landmass records:

  • At birth, Karsten was a hearty 10 pounds, 6 ounces. Mikko still has him beat with 11 pounds, 13 ounces. The trend continues: Karsten at 5 months old was 23 pounds to Mikko's 28 at the same age. At nearly 6 months, he's up to 28 (5 pounds gained in 30 days!), and Mikko was up to 30. Either? Is plenty big. Just ask my back.

  • I kid you not: He broke my back. For the past week, I've been healing through a muscle spasm that has me nearly laid up.

  • Speaking of which, I scheme ways to get out of carrying him. I call Sam for help transporting him down the stairs or when I have to carry absolutely anything else. Glass of water + Karsten = fear of dropping one or both.

  • Strangers say: "Wait … how old is he?"

  • Most of our grooming revolves around cleaning out folds.

Must … protect … folds.

  • Drying him off requires two baby towels.

  • I realized that babywearing is walking with a weighted vest. No wonder my hips aren't forgiving me.

  • Standing up with him is like doing weighted squats.

  • Bouncing him is doing biceps curls. Lifting him up is a front shoulder raise. I don't feel buff so much as exhausted.

  • We have family bets going on how many chins he'll end up sprouting.

Whoa. I do not remember enlisting.

  • He outgrows clothes daily, sometimes hourly.

  • From our experience with Mikko, we know we have a monumental task ahead when he moves into toddlerhood: finding pants that fit his waist & fluffy diaper bum but are not waaaay too long.

One of these days, a big brother's going to get squooshed.

  • Our bouncy seat has no bounce.

  • Our baby swing has swung its last. We can no longer fasten the lap tray over Karsten's thunder thighs. Alrik still fits with room to spare, however!

Should we keep it around for the skinny 3-year-old?

  • The "one size" diaper covers that fit are on their loosest snaps all around.

  • We had to switch from infant to toddler prefolds with the diaper service, because the infant ones were no longer covering both crack and spout. Which was a problem.

  • He and the three-year-old now share clothes. We're not sure in which room to store them.

Share and share alike.

  • He has the meatiest thighs you ever did see. I want to eat them up.

So much to poot.

  • Carrying around Karsten in his infant car seat is a recipe for a dislocated shoulder and/or a hernia. Frankly, we're lucky he still fits in it for a scootch longer.

  • BabyLegs can be worn only knee-high. Otherwise, they dig too far into his thigh chunk. We have to use looser toddler socks so they don't leave marks on his cankles.

  • When I hand my baby to someone, I preface it with "Brace yourself."

  • I can't fit my hand around his calf, his arm, his foot, his knee. I delight in his pudgy fat hands with dimples for knuckles and his plump wrists that blend straight into his arms.


  • People like to confirm that he's just breastfed and not being directly injected with lard. When I say yes, they say, "Must be cream!" Yup.

  • His cheeks are absolutely irresistible.

I dare you not to squeeze those cheeks.

  • I imagine his life set to a soundtrack of Roly Poly.

Do you have big or small or average babies or a mix? What do you love about their size?

Click here for some excellent pictures of Mikko as a little tubster!


Meegs said...

We have a super little! She has consistently been at 3% for weight. But she is happy, healthy, and thriving! :-)

Hard part: finding pants that are long enough that aren't too big in the waist.

Great part: I can swing my 32.5lb 5 year old around like no one's business!

Anonymous said...

Both my kids were born average size (son was *exactly* at the mean of both height and weight) but tall for their age by 3 months. Nicholas was also above average in weight until around 3 years old, since then about average weight for his age, which means kind of thin for his height. Lydia at 9 months was 94th percentile in height but only 38th in weight. Even so, with cloth diapers she is wearing 18mo and 2T pants, especially if they're girls' pants which are cut very slim these days! I haven't weighed her since 9 months when she was 18.5 pounds (she's almost 12 months now) but I'd guess she's still under 23 pounds--lighter than your 5-month-old!

Nicholas did not get any wider, only taller, from age 2 to 8. He had some shorts and underpants that lasted that entire time. We also made a LOT of pants into shorts as he simultaneously got too tall for them and wore out the knees in crawling games on the preschool playground.

Inder-ific said...

Oh. My. Goodness. Joe was a pretty sizeable baby, but he was a mere 24 lbs at 6 months. Maggie, who will turn 3 in July, is not 24 lbs even now! She's still in size 18 months clothes. Luckily, she still has thigh rolls, albeit more petite ones, for me to poot, but yes, overall, she's a MUCH easier baby to carry around and do things with!

Karsten and Mikko ... my goodness!!! You sure make big, chunky, ADORABLE babies! It's funny, Alrik could be from a different family, yet, I know from my own example that the same regular sized people can make both big and tiny babies. :-)

Olivia said...

Both of mine were somewhat big at birth, 8 lbs 6 oz and 9 lbs 8 oz, but the leveled off over their first year to Ben around the 40th percentile. I think they we're both about 20 lbs at one year.

Do you not have the clothes Mikko wore as a toddler? Also, this is really immature, but I've been staring at the lower left corner in the top photo and I cannot figure out what I'm seeing. It kind of looks like a hairy derrier, lol.

Lauren Wayne said...

@Olivia: That's my husband's bent hairy leg, lol. I can see the bum shape now, though!

We do have some clothes that made it through the multiple handing-downs (most were used to begin with), but Alrik's wearing them now!

Lauren Wayne said...

@Meegs: That's like Alrik! He can wear 6-month shorts at nearly 4 years old, ha ha. But getting him pants that don't fall down around his ankles is a challenge. We look for any style marked "skinny" or "slim fit" -- and then they're always relaxed fit on him. :)

Little kids are great, too! Alrik also is thriving and is so fun to do acrobatics with! He's ~31 lbs now at nearly 4 and feels lighter than Karsten since he supports his weight better. It's fun to have a little monkey in the middle!

Lauren Wayne said...

@articles: What a great repurposing of clothing! I admit it was a shock to me to have Alrik wear out clothing after Mikko just zoomed through all his sizes before much damage could happen.

Lauren Wayne said...

@Inder-ific: Every time I see pictures of Joe, he reminds me of Mikko a lot in body type, especially in their younger-kid ages. And how funny we each had both ends of the spectrum. Genetics are a funny thing. If I hadn't given birth to Alrik at home, I'd have had to suspect inadvertent swapping. ;) Maybe he's just my changeling!

I just wish I sewed as well & as fast as you, because clearly my kids could do with custom wardrobes!

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