Welcome to the March 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting With Special Needs

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how we parent despite and because of challenges thrown our way. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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How others see us is not always how we feel.

The last time my mom visited, she had a disquieting experience in the airport restroom. She went into the handicapped stall and was graced with a running commentary from a woman outside the stall, a mama with a tot in a stroller, about how rude it was that my mom had "stolen" the handicapped stall from her.

Hmm.

My mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis thirty-some years ago, in her early thirties. MS, being a degenerative nerve disease, can present in many different ways — anywhere nerves are found. So, you know, pretty much anywhere in the body. Typical symptoms, especially thirty years out, include problems with walking (my mom doesn't use any walking assistance such as a cane or wheelchair, but she has trouble feeling her feet and her muscles don't always coordinate as she walks), difficulty distinguishing or feeling sensations (my mom says she feels like she's wearing a wet suit all the time, only the wet suit is her skin), problems with bladder and bowel function, vision problems, memory issues, and many other effects. It's a difficult disease. My mother also has vision problems unrelated to her MS (multiple eye surgeries), which makes dealing with her MS symptoms that much harder.

But my mom is stoic. Maybe it's the stubborn Scandinavian in her, but she refuses to use any help she can get away without. She never signals her disability, hates to talk about it, would be annoyed that I'm writing about it, and never plays the MS card.

So what that mama with the stroller saw was an apparently able-bodied, middle-aged woman walking on her own two legs into the handicapped stall, locking out the stroller-bound harpy.

My mom was embarrassed, agitated, and feeling a lot of pressure to hurry it up in there as the woman stridently proclaimed to her child and the whole restroom what a terrible woman my mother was to have taken a stall that was clearly not meant for her. Only, it was meant for her. My mom needs the extra space and the bar. That woman was wrong wrong wrong.

Welcome to the Sunday Surf.

Springing forward an hour is my spurious excuse for skipping this week. But feel free to link up still if you're not taking the week off!

This is Part 1 of a new series on baby signing.

I've been very excited the past few days, because Alrik has proven beyond doubt that he is now signing, at 9 months. We did sign language with Mikko when he was a baby, too, and he still knows a lot of signs at 4 years old (though we haven't kept it up as I'd hoped). Mikko didn't begin speaking until he was about 18 months old, but he started signing at 11 months, which gave us a welcome glimpse into the fascinating world inside his head. Based on my own experience and my research, I am a fervent advocate of using sign language with hearing babies.

Below is a video I compiled a long time ago but never posted here before (it was originally just to amuse our family) of 23 of Mikko's signs, as signed from 12 to 18 months of age.

It's a lovely sampling of some of the most popular signs to use with infants and toddlers, and it also shows you what it looks like when both an adult and a child perform the same signs. Sometimes it's challenging to recognize signs that babies are making, because they don't sign them the same way adults do.

With Grandma visiting, we went to JC Penney for Alrik's first portraits. The pictures with Grandma and the boys' aunt worked out fine. The others … were a mixed bag. I guess whenever you have a nine-month-old and a four-year-old to wrangle, it's likely someone's not being kept in line.


Alrik usually mugs for the camera, but the big lights and competing puppet waving was overwhelming for a little guy.


This was pretty cute, though.


Well, my son may have no lips, but this one's a keeper.

Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the best blogposts I've read throughout the week.

Grandma's visit's made me want to take a vacation, too. But look at me, all diligent with my Sunday Surf.

Well, sort of diligent. Just a couple links:

9 hours ago

#cleaning
#organizing
Swistle: Prosecutable Offenses →
This made me start actually laughing. What are your household dealbreakers?
11 hours ago

#clothing
#fashion
#shopping
#sewing
Clothing the Mama: The Parent Vortex →
Very interesting thoughts about how many clothes we have vs. how many we need and how much we spend vs. how much quality we’re buying. This is my comment:
So interesting. I’ve been thinking about this topic recently as well. The plight of factory workers overseas has really been hitting me. However, being the size that I am, I have trouble finding clothes that fit just about anywhere, but particularly at thrift shops, where at least I know I’d be ethically shopping (not to mention helping my budget). I just kind of hate shopping in general, and shopping with little kids is akin to poking myself in the eye with a sharp stick. I’d like to shop on Etsy, but I can’t afford it at the moment. I can sew, but that leads to its own quandaries: First of all, I need more training in clothes making in particular. Then, where do I find the time? Where can I find quality fabric that’s not too expensive?
I also appreciated the article Michelle linked to: The History of a Cheap Dress

Guest post:

From Melissa of White Noise, a beautiful look into the consequences of having a C-section:

Learning to celebrate a cesarean birth

At LaurenWayne.com:

In a series on confusing word pairs, from this former copy editor who just can't help herself:

Pawn off vs. palm off

Carnival news:

Submit to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting by this Tuesday, March 6. The topic is Parenting With Special Needs:

Many of us are touched by caring for a child who stretches our parenting skills. Others of us have experience being a parent with special needs, or having parents of our own or a partner with special needs. Share your story or some specific elements or tips on raising children despite the challenges.

Find other carnivals at my Natural Parenting Carnival Linky. And please, please, please help me keep it updated by adding in carnivals OR memes (recipe linkups and the like) that you're hosting or entering! It would be soooo helpful. Don't be worried that yours is too small — I want to promote everybody's special blog parties! Even if the carnival or meme is already represented but you want to update the information, enter it again and I'll go in and delete the old info. Thank you! I'd love to make it a helpful resource for all of us.