Welcome to the June Carnival of Natural Parenting: Outdoor fun

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared their stories and tips for playing outside with kids. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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A home by the sea

I always dreamed of living by the sea. It was one of those dreams that I assumed would never come true, or only if a number of other unreasonable dreams somehow did — like I won the lottery, or traveled back in time, or moved to England. Or all three, somehow.

When Sam and I moved from landlocked Indiana to Seattle, we were confronted with water everywhere. Lakes and bridges, rain from the sky, temptingly adorable houseboats, even the reservoir we passed every day, and above all, the lovely and calm Puget Sound turning into Elliott Bay downtown. We took ferries across the Sound like pleasure cruises. We loved to cross Deception Pass onto Whidbey Island and glimpse the actual Pacific Ocean through the break in the distant Olympic Peninsula and dream, someday, of retiring on the island in a little cottage on the water.

When our apartment up north flooded (more water! too much water!), we had to discover a new place to live, and fast. We could have gone anywhere, but we took a gamble and headed down to an area we'd visited only twice before: Alki Beach. Was it even possible to find an affordable rental in a neighborhood that had the word "Beach" in the name?

We were astounded: It was! We ended up paying more than we'd paid for our previous place with no water view, but we were able to find a lovely and vintage one-bedroom and we moved in when I was four months pregnant with Mikko.

I labored on that beach, walking along the paved path along the street, deserted on a cool and cloudy June morning. Sam and I walked down to the sand and sat on a log and watched the waves swell like the contractions. I obeyed our midwives' directives to turn that stubborn baby and did lunges on the concrete steps, holding on to the rail and Sam. We slow danced our way back to the house, pausing on benches to wait out the surges and drink in the peace of sand, saltwater, driftwood, and occasional encouraging strangers.



Our first walks with Mikko were along the beach, down to the water in various baby carriers. His first jaunts on the water happened within weeks of his birth: ferries and sailboat and tour boats.

Last summer, a confluence of events — our landlady's irksomeness, an unexpected financial gift, news of available assistance, and the depressed real estate prices — led us to consider buying our first house. Sam and I talked it over, and despite the apparent inanity of this decision, determined our main criterion: It must be within walking distance of our beach.

We had to decline real estate agents who told us we were being foolish, that we would find much more interior and exterior space further inland. We had to turn down one in particular who implied we were beach bums akin to the skeezy surfer in Gidget. (Anyone ever seen that movie? Hoo boy.) We're not the type of people who lie on blankets all summer perfecting our tan; I'm too Irish and Scandinavian to bother trying. We've never even swum in the water here — too dang cold on 363 days of the year without a wet suit. We just knew:

     (1) Our son needed to go outside.
     (2) We are lazy.

Therefore:
     (3) If we do not live within walking distance of a pleasant outdoor space, we will never take him.

We are just not the sort of people who drive to a nice outdoor space. No matter where I've lived, I've walked to whatever was nearest me (in Indiana, my own apartment complex was all I had; in northern Seattle, it was a gorgeous ravine in a nearby park). If we could live within walking distance of the beach, we knew we would use it daily, particularly as Mikko grew and demanded the full share of outdoor time allotted to each fresh-air-craving youngster.

I don't mind not having a yard, because I've never been one to take full advantage of hanging out in a yard, and mamamilkers is being kind enough to let me use her gardening space this year, which was the thing I most craved out of a personal patch of land.

So we lucked into a small condo half a block from the beach and settled in to enjoy our public-private stretch of surf, maintained for us by the city of Seattle as a park so we have no lawn to mow or leaves to rake and can just enjoy.



We have a huge sandbox all to ourselves on most days, certainly throughout most of the winter, when it's still usually mild enough to go out for a time each day. We don't need our own grass to sit on, since we have communal picnic areas. We don't need our own barbecue, since there are plenty of grills scattered about. We never use our indoor fireplace (how do you light that thing, anyway?), but the beach boasts a half dozen fire pits for cheerful flame-lit gatherings on summer nights, complete with marshmallows to roast on sticks.

We have our home on (OK, near) the beach. I'm living my dream.

The best part is, Mikko never needs to think of it as a dream.

He'll grow up thinking it's just normal to live in a place where seagulls wake you through the skylights.

     Where you walk out the door and cross a street to an expanse of sand.

     Where low tide means exploring for octopuses and crabs and starfish.

     Where all his trucks have sand crusting the wheels and all his pants cuffs have to be unrolled carefully outside and yet still — still — our couch and sheets are always collecting gritty reminders.



     Where summer shoe attire is chosen for its ability to walk straight into the Sound without damage either to shoes or tootsies.

     Where we learn the tracks everyone makes in the sand: big mama feet and little baby feet, illicit dog feet, tiny three-toed bird prints and webbed flat seagull prints.

     Where we can wave to the distant Space Needle and passing cruise ships and remind ourselves that, even in urban settings, we are natural creatures who need natural surroundings.



     Where, no matter what the weather, we head out nearly every day to listen to the waves, to walk along the ridge that overlooks the sandy slope down to the water, to see the sun set pink behind Vashon Island.



You don't have to be creative to find things to do on the beach. Mikko immediately plops down and begins digging with his hands or any nearby stick. We tend to keep a handful of sand toys — a shovel, a mold, a small truck — in our bag on walks. But even if we've forgotten them, the beach has shells to find and branches to make into impromptu walking canes. You can balance driftwood on top of other logs to make seesaws and obstacle courses. You can marvel at the different colors and textures of seaweed washed ashore. You can toss stones into the waves. You can watch the other kids playing and borrow their toys for a bit (with or without their permission, our bold little one has found…). There's usually someone out with a kite that you can lie back and watch fly.



If we had to drive to the beach, there's no way we would have gotten to know it in so many moods, in every season, through high tides and low. We've seen the water gray and blue and black and pink. We've walked into the waves and run away from them; we've splashed through shallow tide pools warmed by the sun and shivered in arctic currents. We've seen the sand packed with volleyball players and pirates and sun worshipers and ice cream hawkers, and the beach entirely empty except for us. I've never embraced a small portion of land the way I've rooted here. I hope Mikko will take his personal beach entirely for granted, even as he continues to enjoy it every day.

Even knowing that I write this from a place of privilege and choices and options, I urge you to consider where you live in terms of what is a priority for you. It might not be outdoor space nearby, but presumably you have something that's just as important to you: pursuing a dream job, moving near (or away from!) family, living overseas, living off the grid or in an RV or on a houseboat. Don't accept that your dream can't come true until you really pursue it and see if you can't come up with something that works for you and your family. Maybe the time isn't now, in which case you can tuck it away until the future opens up the answer.

Wherever you end up, I hope there is something natural around to inspire your soul — within walking distance.



How far do you travel to get to your preferred outdoor space? How often do you get outside with your kids?

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Garden Treats — Asha at Mom Costume has once again been bitten by the gardening bug — and this time her baby's tagging along for some fresh air and dirt exploration. (@titbagsandsnoot)
• Outdoor Free Roam — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting follows her daughter's lead whenever they go outside. (@mamapoekie)
• Summer fun in Austin with a toddler — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile is brainstorming ways to beat the heat in Texas. (@tisworthwhile)
• summer fun… — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children is looking forward to spending the summer outside with her children the way she used to spend summers with her mother.
• Outdoor Fun for Pre-Walkers — Maman A Droit has figured out ways to let her pre-walker enjoy the outdoors. (@MamanADroit)
• Summer Homeschool Fun at Camp Review — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now discusses how Camp Review motivated and captivated her homeschooling family. (@DebChitwood)
• Digging, Tree Climbing and Puddle Jumping — Laura at Laura's Blog bemoans the loss of her girls' climbing tree but knows they'll find something else just as naturally tempting.
• The Sweet Smells of Summer — Erin at A Beatnik's Beat on Life is looking forward to the many smells of summer she and her daughters enjoy and identify. (@babybeatnik)
• June Carnival of Natural Parenting: Outdoor Fun — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker is a confirmed couch potato who can't help but be inspired by the outdoor opportunities Seattle offers her family. (@sybilryan)
• Take a Hike — Michelle at The Parent Vortex connects with her family and the Earth on frequent hikes in their Pacific wilderness. (@TheParentVortex)
• Following Paul — Julie at Simple Life gives her kids unstructured time to dig in the dirt and pick mulberries. (@homemakerjulie)
• Instilling a Love of the Outdoors in Your Baby/Toddler — Tessasdad at Stay At Home Dad in Lansing offers a photo book of tips for helping your little ones enjoy the outdoors. (@tessasdad)
• Camping, baby! — Jen at Grow With Graces has easy tips for tent camping with a little one. (@growwithgraces)
• Think Outside the Easel for Summertime Fun — Acacia at Be Present Mama finds several ways to bring art fun to the outdoors.
• Outdoor Learning in our Urban Environment — Andrea at Ella-Bean & Co. has found ways to get grass between her daughter's toes, even in the city.
• Outdoor Education — Alison at BluebirdMama offers parents tips and resources for making each outdoor excursion a learning experience. (@childbearing)
• Turning Inside Out — Christie of Childhood 101 finds kids get a kick out of taking indoor toys outside. (@Childhood101)

• Watching Peas Sprout — Deb at Science@home combines fun with purpose in this educational outdoor activity. (@ScienceMum)
• How To Create a Pirate Treasure Hunt & Other Easy Outdoor Pirate Activities (June Carnival of Natural Parenting) — Dionna at Code Name: Mama has pirate-themed play ideas for ye scurvy landlubbers. (@CodeNameMama)
• What We Do — Luschka at Diary of a First Child has managed to expose her 8-month-old to a wide variety of outdoor fun, even with the notoriously dreary UK weather. (@diaryfirstchild)
• Summer Fun — Darcel at The Mahogany Way finds her family's visits to the beach refreshing in so many ways. (@MahoganyWayMama)
• Playing outside without a backyard — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes doesn't let the lack of a backyard stop her family from enjoying the outdoors. There are plenty of things to do outside of your yard! (@sheryljesin)
• Having Fun Outdoors, Playset Free — Guavalicious at They Are So Cute When They Are Sleeping has resisted a backyard playset in favor of the regular backyard. (@guavalicious)
• Moon Gazing with your Toddler — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries is keeping her toddler up at night, but it's for a good reason: to share the wonders of the night sky! (@babydust)
• the great outdoors — The grumbles at grumbles and grunts wonders whether her urban child can experience the same free-range childhood she enjoyed. (@thegrumbles)
• Let's Take It Outside! — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing is looking for ideas: how can she spend time with her pre-walker outside this summer? (@BlkWmnDoBF)
• A home by the sea: June Carnival of Natural Parenting: Outdoor fun — Lauren at Hobo Mama is living her dream of a home near the beach, and taking full advantage of it. (@Hobo_Mama)
• An Outside Girl — Zoey at Good Goog moved her family to (almost) the middle of nowhere so that her outdoor-loving girl could have more grass and less concrete. (@zoeyspeak)
• Neighborhood Nature — Kelly at Kelly Naturally has learned to connect with the nature she has instead of mourning the nature she misses. (@kellynaturally)
• Building Lovely Memories of Swimming, Spiders and Gravestones — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch and her family are simply outdoorsy people. (@kitchenwitch)
• "Buh-Bye" Season — Danielle at born.in.japan must leave laundry behind and follow her son's call to the outdoors. (@borninjp)
• Backyard Camping — Becoming Mamas took her family camping very close to home! (@becomingmamas)
• The Color of Dreams — Seeking Mother at Woman Seeking Mother makes gardening magical by teaching her son that each flower is a faery. (@seekingmother)

I would like to play along with Authentic Parenting and Baby Dust Diaries with my own Sunday Surf! It's a way to bring you some of the best links I've read recently. (It's supposed to be "this past week," but I'm a little behind…)

• I'm going to go dorky on you and basically reference the whole recent feed of one blog in particular: Common Places, by my friend Rachel. She's written so many intriguing and parenting-relevant posts lately that I keep several windows of hers open, intending to write some thoughtful response to them all, and before I know it, she's added another. So here's my attempt to at least pass them along so you can enjoy them, too:

• "Mothers' Day": On the challenges of this holiday for the childless or those suffering loss. Rachel is a single woman who comes up against the Christian church's sometimes flailing inabilities to adequately support and value single women and/or those who are not mothers. I have my own reasons to dislike Mother's Day, from a rather shallow wariness of any invented holiday that mostly benefits Hallmark and my own lack of sentimentality concerning cards and flowers, to a somewhat deeper sense of disturbance that such a holiday patronizes women and puts them in their place: sort of an "Aw, what a sweet widdle mommy you are. Here, have a rose. Now make me some dinner." I feel like a little bit of an impostor/hypocrite now that I am a mother and supposedly profiting from such a day. Reading quotes like — "…we need to break down the distinction between mothers and non-mothers and collectively be the village that it takes to raise our children. What I want for Mother's Day is a Church in which women with children are not left feeling isolated and overwhelmed, and women without children are not left feeling excluded or uninvolved. Jill Lepore points out the intriguingly recent advent of the notion that some adults are 'parents' and others are not. Retrieving a culture of collective responsibility for children may be a lost cause in society at large, where reliable birth control and the marginalization of families has reduced the raising of children to an expensive hobby, but in our churches perhaps it is not too late to embrace the idea that we are all parents, whether we have children 'of our own' or not." — makes me say, "Yes, this." Mother's Day seems antithetical (to me) of such a goal. (See also my fondness for allomothers, which increases every time I see my son attach to a non-parent who loves him and helps in the raising of him.)
• "Further on the parenthood of all believers": "I can't do justice to Amy Laura's exact words, but it was something to the effect that not only will The Revolution not be televised, it will be the very thing we do while/by taking care of our kids and households, not the thing we must put those concerns aside in order to pursue. …must we really choose between t-ball and revolution? Maybe caring for children is the epitome, rather than the antithesis, of the revolution to which we're called. Maybe revolution starts at home. …In any event, any revolution that has no place for children is a revolution that is not worth being a part of." I mean, seriously, why aren't you all reading Rachel's blog?
• "The ghettoization of childhood: a rant": On the astonishing fact that both children and adults are people.
• "Poetry for Mother's Day": I dare you to read "The Lanyard" by Billy Collins and not cry.
• I'm not even joking when I say there are other posts I could reference here, so click on over and enjoy.
• Henry Louis Granju, son of attachment parenting advocate Katie Alison Granju, died after a drug overdose and beating. When he still seemed to be making a tough recovery, this topic brought up a lot of issues in the blogosphere, such as this article at BlogHer by Mir Kamin, about drug addiction and how to respond as a parent, and whether the parent of a drug addict is allowed to grieve (!) — as well as about the secrets we keep, as bloggers and as parents (as Katie Alison Granju's own post at Babble explores), when we want to protect the uglier and harsher truths in our lives. When this beautiful young man succumbed to his injuries and died, well…the breath went out of me. I think Carl Snow's song "In Lieu of Flowers" (listen and weep), which he wrote for Henry, says best the response we should have to Katie's family and to all those who are struggling right now with loss of one kind or another. My heart goes out to the Granjus in their grief. No one should ever have to lose a child. I'm hoping Henry's death leads to many conversations and suggestions for how to approach drug use as it relates to our children — is there a way the loss of Henry will be the saving of some other parent's precious child?



• "Makeover" at Mommies Savings: Have you heard of the Hair for Oil Spills program? Very interesting, if a little squicky. Makes me want to donate, since the hair doesn't have to be in great condition (i.e., mine's not), unlike some of the wig-donating programs.
• "Penile adhesions" at Kozy Konversations: Ouch! Doesn't sound so cozy, does it? ;) Penile adhesions are an increasingly common side effect of infant male circumcision — Kelley gives some data that lends another strike against routine circumcising, and includes lots of helpful information if your baby is circumcised and experiencing this painful condition.
• "How Babies Suck While Nursing: New Information," from Dirty Diaper Laundry (referencing the full article in New Scientist): New ultrasounds suggest babies create a vacuum to extract milk rather than compressing the breast tissue. This could help understand why some babies don't do as well at getting out the milk, and a suck test could potentially help mother-baby dyads who are having trouble breastfeeding by pinpointing the problem.
• Speaking of ultrasounds but prenatal ones, looks like I have company in forgoing them. Both Authentic Parenting and Baby Dust Diaries link to blogs (are you allowed to link to other link lists in a link list? well, I'm doing it!) that point out the negative side effects of in-utero ultrasounds: a Discovery Channel video that shows a baby crying in utero during an ultrasound from Informed Parenting, and "I just say no to ultrasounds for my unborn babies" from Parenting Freedom. I felt chastised by family and misunderstood by friends when we said we were not having any ultrasounds during pregnancy for non-medical purposes (and we didn't end up needing any for medical reasons, which would be a completely valid use of this diagnostic tool). What was your experience? If you had ultrasounds in previous pregnancies, do these findings change your intention to have non-medically necessary ultrasounds in the future?
• Thanks to Paige from the Baby Dust Diaries, I now have located my public reader feed. If you want to read along with my recommended articles throughout the week, you can follow it here:
  http://www.google.com/reader/shared/hobomama
  Paige is all full of helpful blogging tutorials. Check out her Part 1 and Part 2 of using FeedBurner to maximize your blog; I'm still putting all those advanced goodies into place. And join with me in encouraging her to write us a Google Reader tutorial or seven.
• Speaking of tutorials at LaurenWayne.com, Tom, aka Code Name: Papa aka the other half to Code Name: Mama, has given WordPress users a wonderful way to pass on link love to your commenters by installing the DoFollow plug-in. Stay tuned for a Blogger edition once I figure it out myself!
• Megan of Purple Dancing Dahlias has a helpful guest post on Code Name: Mama that gives "6 Ideas for Eating Wholesome Foods Without Breaking the Bank." We can all use that! Here's to our garden this summer!
• "No Jabs, Please," an anonymous guest post at Raising My Boychick: "The experience of making an unpopular decision" is how Arwyn describes choosing not to vaccinate from this anonymous guest poster. This person seriously sounds like me, including my own vacillation about whether or not to remain silent and anonymous myself on the issue.
• "Let's hear it for the multilingual kids!": The bilingual carnival is up at Mummy do that! I love the camaraderie that comes from hearing the struggles and successes of other families raising their children multilingually. My contribution was a cheater's guide to bilingual songs, one of the many fine posts in the cheater's series.
• "Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT invited" at Mama Sweat (via PhDinParenting): I am all astonishment. Skip the kegels, says fitness guru Katy Bowman, and concentrate on daily squats instead.

• "What to Do When the Ladies Have Left the Building" from Resourceful Mommy: A breastfeeding-supportive, body-image-respectful, and commonsense approach to restoring your self-confidence if breastfeeding has permanently deflated your bewbies (after weaning). "I'm talking about the women who at twenty-five are wearing a D cup with a cup that overfloweth and at thirty after nursing two children are wearing a B cup with extra padding and room to carry tissues and loose change." And I know I didn't just happen across this article, so I'm sorry whoever it is I owe a "via" to!
• Same with whoever turned me on to The Snyder 5's 500 Pound Declutter Challenge, which you can follow along with here. (Seriously, if you're a "via," let me know and I'll add you!) I need inspiration to sort through my own piles o' junk. I believe FlyLady's precept that "you can't organize clutter," and I am determined to get rid of it!
• Submissions for the Healthy Birth Blog Carnival #6 at Science & Sensibility are due Friday, June 11. The topic this time is keeping moms and babies together after birth.
• For a little personal promotion, I direct you to some off-Hobo Mama links:

• I reviewed the DVD of Caterina and Her Baby Ballerinas, which you might want to read if you are personally in need of a ballet class at home (less embarrassing and can be just as effective if you don't want to join a real class yet) or if you're interested in enrolling your kids in ballet.
• I reviewed the romance novel A Precious Jewel, by Mary Balogh, which you might want to read if you're interested in romantic stories about brothels and the men who visit them. Ha ha! Oh, also, if you want to read my thoughts on defying genre conventions in your fiction writing.
• I have two ongoing giveaways: SteamPotVille, by Steve Ouch, a very fun book; and a Smart Mom Jewelry Teething Bling necklace from Posh Baby Boutique, perfect for nursing or teething or just looking stylish with a piece of jewelry that's safe for your baby to chew and pull at.
• Finally, stay tuned for Tuesday's Carnival of Natural Parenting! We're bringing you amazing posts celebrating playing outside, from personal experiences to concrete advice, and from the forests to the seas to the good old backyard. You'll be inspired to stop reading and go outdoors. In fact, maybe you should do that now!

Sorry I've been kind of out of it as far as writing goes. I've been doing a lot of reading lately…. Also, Mikko turned THREE (!) so we had a fun party for him on the beach. Read more about our love for the beach in my Carnival of Natural Parenting post on Tuesday, and read more about my new reality of nursing a 3-year-old in an upcoming guest post on Code Name: Mama's awesome Joys of Breastfeeding a Toddler series (hint: It's much the same as nursing a 2-year-old). And just to share my happiness with you, I have now been married to the fantabulously supportive Sam for 12 whole years. Today is our wedding anniversary! (Yes, the day after Mikko's birthday. He's like that.)

Thanks for letting me join your Sunday Surf, Authentic Parenting & Baby Dust Diaries! Happy reading to everyone this week!

This is not my anti-tutorial about making raised vegetable garden beds with mamamilkers to counter the way The Pioneer Woman makes it all look so dang easy. (And I quote: "If you’re even remotely comfortable with using a drill, this entire project can take under an hour." Scoff, scoff, snort.) No, my anti-tutorial will come later. For now, enjoy a hint of summery gardeny goodness taking shape, wherein we make it look easy-breeezy ourselves, and stop back next Tuesday (June 8) for our June Carnival of Natural Parenting, where everyone's going to give you great ideas for playing outdoors!

























Just add soil.

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1. Link up with Wordless Wednesday linkies!

2. Stay at Home Dad: More Outdoor Fun

3. Pat. @ Here And There

4. Russ W/Linky WW Comedy

5. The McCormack Spot - The Best Sleep

6. lisa

7. alicia @ a beautiful mess *LINKY*

8. Faith @ Simplicity

9. Secret Mom Thoughts

10. Firsts!

11. Baby Baby Lemon: Grass

12. Shoot da Potty!

13. Melodie @ Breastfeeding Moms Unite!

14. Whimsical Creations

15. AskMsRecipe W/linky

16. Wordless Wednesday!

17. Momma Drama

18. Misfit Momma

19. Cabin countdown

20. First Tricycle

21. Crazy Town w/Linky!

22. Julie From Momspective

23. A Matter of Days

24. A Hens Nest

25. Live and Love. . . Out Loud **LINKY**

26. Power of Cute

27. The Frugal Kennedys (LINKY)

28. Mrs. Marine

29. HFH @ naturally diff. . .