That's right, me hearties -- it's Talk Like a Pirate Day! And, as we all know, pirates are the hoboes of the seas. Or would be, if they didn't rob and kill everyone. Not that hoboes aren't tough, too, but they don't have as much of an agenda. I guess hoboes are the landlubber version of the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.

At any rate, I encourage you to pepper your speech today with "Avast" and "Aye aye" and "Ahoy" and "Get me a grog, ye scurvy bilge rat!"

Shiver me timbers -- hoist the mainsail and talk like a pirate, or I'll keelhaul ye, make ye walk the plank, and send ye to Davy Jones' locker!