Comments on Hobo Mama: Intact: A circumcision journey

Great story!! Here's what my man says on the subject. My friend who was pregnant at the same time also wanted to keep her baby intact, but her husband was doing the "If it's good enough for me..." thing, and she was having trouble standing up to him. Then their baby boy was born, and when her husband held him for the first time, he looked up with tears in his eyes and said, "He's perfect. I can't let anybody cut him." Whew!

What a beautiful story. I hope many people grappli...

2010-07-07T08:21:40.936-07:00

What a beautiful story. I hope many people grappling with the issue of circumcision read this. I wish my parents had.

I'm kinda late with the comments, but this is ...

2010-07-01T21:04:37.756-07:00

I'm kinda late with the comments, but this is really a wonderful post because you were so transparent. We all appreciate you keepin' it real!

It saddens me how so many circumcised American fat...

2010-06-06T11:56:31.448-07:00

It saddens me how so many circumcised American fathers feel daunted by the prospect of changing and bathing an intact son. Could seeing an infant's intact penis trigger deep seated sexual insecurities?

I am elated by the number of American women of childbearing age who bring humaneness and common sense to bear on the most intensely masculine bits of all. It is surpremely ironic that I have learned much about my intact body by reading the writings of women!

Ladies, don't hold back, believing that the male bits sacrificed to circ are completely beyond your ken. You too have a foreskin, namely the skin sheath, called the hood, that covers the tip of your clitoris. Your inner lips are also functionally similar to the foreskin, in that both cover and protect the urinary meatus and the body's primary sexual orifice. Many women cannot expose the glans of the clitoris, and this is totally normal. But if you can expose it, your clitoral hood works a lot like the male foreskin. Women of America, every time you masturbate, you are getting pleasure from pink bits that are analogous to those circ discards.

Circumcision alters, to a degree that varies over individuals and over time, how a man experiences and gives sexual pleasure. Do we want this?

What a beautiful post. I have to admit I cried re...

2010-04-23T09:10:24.318-07:00

What a beautiful post. I have to admit I cried reading it. My son is intact and my husband was the one who initiated the conversation about it - and did NOT want to circumcise. I was so relived. And I was so relieved to hear your outcome too. So, why did I cry? Because actions speak louder than words and the respect and loyalty he showed your son in his choice made my heart rejoice.

I so love this guest post! Thank you for letting m...

2010-04-21T13:27:54.234-07:00

I so love this guest post! Thank you for letting me publish it first, Nicole. I still expect to see it in Mothering someday.

To Lisa C and anyone else regretting having circumcised, I've been thinking I really want to write a post on what to do if you've already circed. I think part of it is to forgive yourself, part is to resolve differently if you have more boys in the future, and part is to realize what a powerful advocate you can now be for anyone trying to choose.

That was a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing. We...

2010-04-14T09:54:38.223-07:00

That was a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing.
We would battle about having leaving our son intact if our 2nd turned out to be a boy. This time when I brought it up, he was like "who cares as long as we know how to clean him correctly" That warms my heart.

So glad I read this post before I turned off the c...

2010-04-13T20:34:23.783-07:00

So glad I read this post before I turned off the computer for the night - wonderful story!
My hubby thought he was in favor of circumcision until he made an effort to get informed. Now he is as passionate an advocate for leaving boys intact as I am. (I cannot describe to you how proud I am of my hubby for his advocacy!)
I'd also be interested in hearing about why your husband changed his mind. It could be helpful for some other mama fighting for her baby's genital integrity someday!

Wonderful story Nicole! You are doing such a great...

2010-04-13T10:09:59.472-07:00

Wonderful story Nicole! You are doing such a great job. Mike and I have already talked about not circumcising any future boys of ours and the other volunteers in my city have discussed it as well. Thank you keep up the good work:-)

Fabulous story! It brought tears to my eyes and a ...

2010-04-13T08:06:06.595-07:00

Fabulous story! It brought tears to my eyes and a sigh of relief. My two sons are 22 and 11, both intact and both happy to have everything they were born with.

fabulous post.... I think I am extra glad that my ...

2010-04-12T23:50:59.338-07:00

fabulous post.... I think I am extra glad that my husband and I agree on this topic... because I know I couldn't budge on it either!

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I was pleas...

2010-04-12T19:16:37.418-07:00

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I was pleasantly surprised to read so many comments.

@Restoring Tally, thanks for providing that link. Intact care is incredibly simple.

@Sarah, I've never asked my husband why he changed his mind. I'm so sorry your first son was circumcised without your consent. I'm glad you have a much more supportive partner now.

@LisaC - *hugs* It is a really scary thing to face such opposition from someone you love.

@Teresha - I've also come to the same conclusion about ear-piercing.

I'm very amazed that my story has touched all of you. Thank you again for sharing your kind thoughts.

Great story! Thanks for sharing! I admit that I wa...

2010-04-12T18:20:53.109-07:00

Great story! Thanks for sharing! I admit that I was for circumcision until I got educated. When we got pregnant with our first, I thought there would be conflict over the issue, but surprisingly my husband was for keeping a boy intact. We had a girl but the same intact rule applied and we opted against piercing her ears.

I usually don't read any circumcision posts wh...

2010-04-12T17:59:09.618-07:00

I usually don't read any circumcision posts when I come by them in the blogs I read. I'm not for it but I have two girls so it isn't really something I have ever gotten into as far as subject matter goes. But this reeled me in somehow. And it was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your journey and kudos to your husband.

Beautifully written and couldn't more timely f...

2010-04-12T17:29:45.715-07:00

Beautifully written and couldn't more timely for me personally - we are expecting a boy and we haven't discussed the C-word yet...

What a wonderful ending. My husband is intact and ...

2010-04-12T14:28:10.839-07:00

What a wonderful ending. My husband is intact and supportive of keeping our sons intact. However, if that was not the case, I think I would also be saying, "Over my dead body." It is my job to protect my children. In my opinion, circumcision is child abuse.

I am bawling. I actually have written a post on th...

2010-04-12T13:46:18.389-07:00

I am bawling. I actually have written a post on this topic recently but not posted it yet. I wish I could go back in time and stand up to my husband for my son. I'm pretty sure he would have budged if I had fought it. Now I cry every time I think of how I have failed my son in this way, and there is absolutely no way to undo it.

Great story! Way-to-go for protecting your baby b...

2010-04-12T12:35:28.927-07:00

Great story! Way-to-go for protecting your baby boy and for Dad finally realizing that his son is perfect, just as he is.

For anyone reading who is having a boy, there is no extra care for an intact boy. Just wipe like a finger from base to tip. Never try to retract the foreskin!

I love this story!! My (otherwise really open-mi...

2010-04-12T12:05:07.723-07:00

I love this story!!

My (otherwise really open-minded and crunchy) husband and I also argued about whether to circumcise our son. My parents were anti-circumcision, and my brother was not circumcised, so I felt VERY STRONGLY that my baby boy should not be cut! But my husband insisted that circumcised penises are just "better looking." Most of his male friends agreed with him. Even my girlfriends questioned my beliefs, saying that as a father, my husband should have the final say.

So I flat-out bargained for an intact boy. I gave my husband naming rights in exchange for not cutting him! Because he badly wanted to name our son after his best friend who passed away, he accepted this deal (of course, I would have been happy to name him that ANYWAY, but I gave up all rights to quibble over the name, including middle name). For me, this was an easy bargain!

My husband still jokes that our son will decide to get circumcised later, and I always say, "If it's his choice, I'm fine with it."

Yay happy endings!

Dang, you sound so much like me, though my husband...

2010-04-12T11:42:27.380-07:00

Dang, you sound so much like me, though my husband didn't put up too much of a fight. He wanted our son to look like him, but I expressed my doubts. We finally talked to the pediatrician, who did not like doing circumcisions. That was that. :)

Judith

Thanks for sharing, great ending to your story! T...

2010-04-12T09:25:48.630-07:00

Thanks for sharing, great ending to your story!
These kinds of stories make families stronger!

I love this story. Beautifully written.

2010-04-12T08:42:04.993-07:00

I love this story. Beautifully written.

What a great post! Did you ever ask your husband w...

2010-04-12T08:33:36.566-07:00

What a great post! Did you ever ask your husband what got him to change his mind?

With DS1 his biological father had him circumcised while I was knocked out in the hospital after my 1st c-section. Nothing like being brought a screaming in pain SAD infant who had a medical procedure against my knowledge or permission.

When I became pregnant with DS2, I made it VERY clear to my boyfriend that he WOULD not be cut. He was/is fully supportive of leaving DS2 intact.

I love this. We were one of the lucky couples t...

2010-04-12T07:42:15.543-07:00

I love this.

We were one of the lucky couples that agreed completely on non-circ. I've seen this issue divide a marriage...sadly.

I like happy endings, too. I wish more mothers wer...

2010-04-12T06:55:35.679-07:00

I like happy endings, too. I wish more mothers were as informed and protective as you. I was circumcised at birth and really wish I had been left intact.

So that others can find an answer to your husband's question on caring for an infant son without a circumcision, here are pamphlets on care of an intact penis.