Comments on Hobo Mama: Leaving her behind

Thank you again for writing such a powerful post, ...

2009-11-22T02:40:01.661-08:00

Thank you again for writing such a powerful post, Molly! I don't know how you wonderful work-out-of-the-home moms do it. I also went back to work pretty early, but from home, so my schedule was flexible and my boss is a pushover. I'm so glad that you (and the commenters above) have had the closeness of breastfeeding and cosleeping to reconnect and power you up.

P.S., everybody: Look for another post by Molly soon! Yea!

I returned to work when my daughter was 1 year old...

2009-11-17T20:47:02.501-08:00

I returned to work when my daughter was 1 year old. I am Canadian, so I am lucky to have generous maternity leave.

I also found that breastfeeding and co-sleeping saw us through. It was the best way to re-connect. And after a long day spent apart, there was no way I was going to put my daughter to sleep in another room. I'm glad you've found a way to make things work for you, and maintain the strong attachment to your daughter.

Oh Molly I got all teary eyed as I read your post!...

2009-11-17T20:12:50.752-08:00

Oh Molly I got all teary eyed as I read your post! "My heart aches for her." describes my feelings so very often!

I had to return to work at 6 weeks. I had worried how I would do. Sasha had a hard time with the first day, but has otherwise adjusted.

No matter how exhausted I am when I get home from work at 9 in the evening, I am always quick to take her up and offer her the breast. I am lucky to be able to come home for lunch every day, so I always get that extra connection in the middle of my day. If I'm lucky, I help her to sleep. It makes for a nice break for Daddy.

We also cosleep, only because of our schedules and her finicky sleeping, that means we mostly only sleep in pairs. We never even asked for a crib, but I coslept with my previous baby, too.

I am so thankful that we are able to keep Sasha with a parent all the time, but it is definitely hard to do - especially with both of us working.

I, too, sleep MORE with Sasha usually. Because at night she doesn't want to sleep without me. I cave and just sleep with her so she can sleep. So I wind up sleeping more than I would have before, too.

Sorry my comment is so long and jumps all over the place. I'm exhausted from work, but just SO understand what you're saying! I wish wish wish I could stay home with my baby like I did with my last one, but it just isn't in the cards for us.

If I were away from my baby all day there is no wa...

2009-11-17T20:04:06.613-08:00

If I were away from my baby all day there is no way I would want to be away from him at night! (I've been with him all day from day one and I still don't want to be away from him at night!) I can definitely see how co-sleeping would save a breastfeeding relationship, especially one that was so new, after a mom goes back to work. Good for you, for following your heart!

Cypress Sun - One of the benefits for you now that...

2009-11-17T12:13:57.703-08:00

Cypress Sun - One of the benefits for you now that your son is 18 months is that it will be easier for you to communicate that you'll be coming back! He'll figure that out a lot quicker and more easily than he would have when he was younger. Good luck to you! The fact that you've labored over the decision lets me know you'll do everything you can to help your little guy through the process. Sounds like he has a great mama!

CaroLyn - thanks for the book recco - I will see if I can order it from my library! My friend and I jokingly decided the other day that we'll just breastfeed until they go off to college. Right? :)

Olivia - Oh, how my heart would break to have to leave my 3 week old! You are a strong lady and I'm so glad you've been able to stay close through bfeeding and the family bed. Isn't it funny how our society is programmed to think that sleeping together means poor sleep? On the contrary, my baby is my sleep elixir!

I feel like I could have written this. Circumstanc...

2009-11-17T05:57:23.474-08:00

I feel like I could have written this. Circumstances left me going back to work full time when my baby was 3 weeks. I feel fortunate that she is able to stay at home with her father otherwise I would have truly been a basket-case. Creating a family bed and breastfeeding have kept my baby and I close and makes my time away from her easier.

I remember reading on Parenting PhD about how co-sleeping can help working parents reconnect and that settled the crib question. I love the looks of confusion when people at work ask me how I'm sleeping and I say I'm more rested after giving birth than before.

Thanks for sharing Molly. I had to go back to work...

2009-11-17T01:48:03.890-08:00

Thanks for sharing Molly. I had to go back to work when my baby was 7 weeks and it's been tough, but we're making it. I feel the same way, fortunate that my husband is the one caring for her, and glad that we didn't really use the crib much other than for naps.

Baby Led Weaning is a book that I've not read but had recommended to me on how to do a natural weaning and has an interesting approach to introducing solids.

Thanks for this post Molly. I may be returning to...

2009-11-16T18:07:13.572-08:00

Thanks for this post Molly. I may be returning to work, and leaving my 18 month old with dad. Though I've had this time with my little guy, the decision to leave him is not an easy one. (Sometimes I lay awake at night and piece together a different life - we sell the house, become gypsies...all so we can be with our child!)

It sounds as though you have followed your heart in this endeavor. Congrats on tuning out the voices that didn't make sense to you.