Comments on Hobo Mama: Think ahead to the baby: A checklist for new paren...

what a great post! thanks so much for sharing. i...

2010-10-17T08:20:54.937-07:00

what a great post! thanks so much for sharing. i must leave your comments section now so that i can go back to the post and click on some links! thanks again!

Olivia: Totally. I included sleep because i...

2010-02-19T23:11:53.701-08:00

Olivia: Totally. I included sleep because it's ALL I hear most new parents talk about! I agree that cosleeping parents tend to obsess less about it, I think because maybe they have more realistic expectations, and maybe because the mother's nursing in bed during the night so it's not as big a deal. That's been true for us, at any rate. And as for lanolin, I mostly saved it for lanolizing my wool covers. ;) I find, though, that it's easier to spread on nipples if you warm it up a bit between your fingers first so that it's a little meltier and not so goopy. But I hate how the residue on my fingertips then won't come off. Olive oil's a great idea. Will have to try that.

Melodie & Rambling Rachel: You managed pretty well, then! I forgot to mention bathing, but that's probably because I didn't have any astonishing methods. All I did was tuck him in with me when I was taking postpartum baths for healing purposes. After that, we totally slacked about washing him and did it maybe once a week, until he started actually playing in the bath and looking forward to it. But still one of us always climbs in there with him and plays! Are we the only parents who do that?

Macondo Mama: Talking to your partner is a great one, and scoping out activities and new friends, too. I kind of just thought we'd continue our lives as usual, which kind of sort of worked for a short window, and then, um, not. So we've adapted, but I definitely could still use more parent friends!

Taryn: So glad to see I'm not the only one who breaks the Blogger character limit! That keeps happening to me. Halfway through writing my article, I totally decided to skip the whole idea of preparing for birth, just because it was so overwhelming a topic I figured it deserved its own post. Now I still think so, but think you should write it! Want to guest post? I really like the car seat angle, too, very important, and having breastfeeding supplies and support lined up. It's funny you mention the Harvey Karp DVD, because that's totally what Sam watched instead of reading the book! Ha ha! They had it at our library. I loved how it showed his techniques in action. It was really magical to watch.

Dagmar: Absolutely true about education! Thanks!

Jessica & Leo: Share away! :)

This is a really great checklist, Lauren! I have ...

2010-02-15T11:33:29.125-08:00

This is a really great checklist, Lauren! I have two friends expecting their first and I'm going to pass this on to them.

Off topic, but I keep wondering...am I the only mo...

2010-02-15T05:43:54.607-08:00

Off topic, but I keep wondering...am I the only mother who does NOT like Lansinoh nipple cream? It's too thick to spread around and pulled my delicate skin. I preferred olive oil. Just FYI if there is anyone reading who doesn't like the thick lanolin. ;)

Thank you for this extensive post! It covers so ma...

2010-02-14T23:17:39.511-08:00

Thank you for this extensive post! It covers so many things a lot of new parents don't really educate themselves on enough, and you made it very easy to find links to a lot of pertinent information.

Education is key, be it about labor, about breastfeeding, about unnecessary interventions, circumcision, and more.

So nice to find another mommy who writes about the same topics I do :)

Dagmar
Dagmar's momsense
http://DagmarBleasdale.com

I forgot to mention that Dr. Karp also has made a ...

2010-02-14T18:39:28.362-08:00

I forgot to mention that Dr. Karp also has made a one hour DVD outlining the main ideas contained in his book "The Happiest Baby On the Block" for those of you who are really pressed for time and don't have time to read the book through before delivering. This method for calming babies is really a sanity saver for parents with new babies.

So, I exceeded the word limit...this is a lot long...

2010-02-14T18:25:32.399-08:00

So, I exceeded the word limit...this is a lot longer than I intended...sorry. Here's the rest of the comment...

In addition establishing a birth plan, I would also recommend that parents-to-be install baby's car seat a few weeks prior to when the baby is expected to arrive. The seats can be tricky and sometimes frustrating to install, and you want to make sure that they are installed correctly so your precious bundle will have a safe ride home. It's an astounding figure, but The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that 75% of car seats are not installed correctly. http://news14.com/charlotte-news-104-content/top_stories/?ArID=599669
Often you can go to your local fire station or highway patrol station and somebody who is specifically trained in safety seat installation can confirm if your seat is properly installed or help you install the seat altogether.

Finally, if you are planning on breastfeeding, I would buy some lanolin (Lansinoh brand is a good one) and plan on using it from the get-go to protect your nipples until they get used to nursing an infant. This will help to prevent cracking which can make nursing life miserable. Also, either purchase or at least stake- out a place where you can purchase nursing supplies (bras, pumps, pads etc.) prior to delivering. This will be a good resource to help you along your breastfeeding journey...and it can be kind of stressful trying to figure out this information out when you are busy trying to establish a breastfeeding relationship with your infant.

One final note on breastfeeding. I think that many women don't realize that breastfeeding is a learned skill and it doesn't just "happen" for many of us. There is a decent amount of trial-and-error, and often frustration that can accompany learning to breastfeed (both for mother and baby). When coupled with the common initial pain of breastfeeding, it is easy to become discouraged and loose faith in our abilities to breastfeed our babies even to the point of believing that we may not be able to breastfeed. Don't give up! It won't be like this forever! Like Hobo Mama said, there are people who would love to lend their help an support(lactation constants, Le Leche League, other breastfeeding mothers). Make sure to put a breastfeeding support system into place prior to giving birth just in case you need it. Hang in there and remember you are learning an priceless skill. All the hard work is well worth it!

Wow, that was an epoch comment...I appologize for the length!
Thanks again Hobo Mama for the great post!

GREAT POST. This is an amazing resource! You out...

2010-02-14T18:23:37.913-08:00

GREAT POST. This is an amazing resource! You outlined many of the things that I wish I had known with my first child (a hospital birth with a nurse-midwife), and that I now make a point to bring to other first-timer's attention whenever I get the chance.

Another thing I might add, would be to write a birth plan outlining your preferences regarding many of the issues you brought up in this post and other previous posts (episiotomy, labor augmentation, internal examinations, fetal monitoring, Vitamin K, Hepatitis B shot, circumcision, breastfeeding preferences, pacifier use, formula/sugar water via bottle, the various infant blood tests offered following birth etc.).

Also consider what would make your birth a fulfilling, comfortable, memorable and beautiful process for yourself/birth-partner/infant (low lights during labor, soft music playing, video taping of the birth, use of birthing ball, other family/friends attending the birth, doula or birthing coach, different birthing positions, laboring or even birthing in water, eating/drinking, who you'd like to cut the cord, immediate skin-to-skin contact etc.). Included these personal comfort preferences in your plan alongside your medical care preferences.

Discuss your plan with your doctor/midwife prior to giving birth to make sure that your wishes are clear and that they are actually feasible--this will help to insure that things that really matter to you personally are taken into account during your labor and following delivery. Leave a copy of your plan with your midwife/doctor to keep on file and review.

Once you go into labor, take a copy of your plan with you to wherever you will be delivering your child (I feel like this is especially important for hospital births--I'd even take a few copies for the nurses,docs and anyone else who needs to know what your preferences are, so they will have your wishes clear in their minds. That way, you, and your birthing partner, can be free to focus on the birthing process rather than the details). Remember to keep some mental flexibility regarding your birth plan since sometimes labor/delivery/recovery present some unexpected surprises. Plan for the best, but be at peace with the possibility of having to make some last-minute adjustments to your plans.

If you are interested in getting some ideas for your birth plan, there are many sites online that offer free birth planners. Simply google "birth plan" and you will be well on your way to creating your own birth plan...

This is a great idea for a post! So much informati...

2010-02-14T06:38:13.642-08:00

This is a great idea for a post! So much information about 'thinking ahead to when the baby is born' is about buying a million things you really don't need and getting a nursery ready. It's great to have the time during pregnancy to think about many of the issues you raise and to agree (or not) with your partner about what your approaches will be.

Scoping out some mama- and baby-friendly places and activities could also be a fun thing to do while pregnant. It's great to connect with other mamas in those early months (and forever after, of course).

Excellent post! I'm one of the women mentioned...

2010-02-13T14:01:13.275-08:00

Excellent post! I'm one of the women mentioned in the first paragraphs. Read every week about my baby's development, researched labor and then got home and realized I didn't know how to bathe and diaper my son.

Good treatment of the subject of circumcision.

Wow! This is a whole lot of information! Thanks fo...

2010-02-12T20:19:49.778-08:00

Wow! This is a whole lot of information! Thanks for posting this. I will recommend this post to my sister who is giving birth next week.
solid wood bedroom furniture

Fantastic idea! I was (gasp!) one of those moms wh...

2010-02-12T17:43:16.355-08:00

Fantastic idea! I was (gasp!) one of those moms who didn't really research parenting beyond womb-carrying. I knew I was going to breastfeed and cloth diaper, but that was about it. I learned all the rest along the way. This list would have been sooo handy back then.

We researched everything on your list except circu...

2010-02-12T05:53:57.999-08:00

We researched everything on your list except circumcision since we knew were having a girl. And I only did a little research on sleep. Once we decided to co-sleep I didn't worry much about it. It would have been good to know about The Happiest Baby on the Block soothing techniques, too. We only discovered them at around 4 months, but fortunately our baby was pretty easy-going.